There's still time for 24 to explode and truly take fans by surprise this season, but last night's episode upped the ridiculous, repetitive storyline ante by more than most loyal fans can bare.
Jack escaped more torture again; the nuclear materials are still on the loose; and Dana broke the speed of sound when she drove off to the Jersey City-based strip club.
As a result, this edition of the 24 Round Table features equally over-the-top questions/answers, but, hey, they're still relevant to the show. Reader feedback is encouraged...
Harder to believe: Jack's aversion to electric currents, or anything about Dana's storyline?
M.L. House: I may have believed Jack's ability to withstand torture... IF HE HADN'T BEEN STABBED IN THE GUT BY A KNIFE LESS THAN AN HOUR AGO.
LJ Gibbs: Jack is significantly shorter than five feet tall. Drawing on my knowledge of electric currents, I conclude that the electricity only stays a short time - like a short circuit - in his body. So it makes sense that Jack can take electric shots without much damage. The Dana story is hard to believe. Kevin and Nick seem smart enough to have graduated from Harvard, Yale, or GWU. So they should have been white collar criminals, not slumming in the Six Figure world.
The Barnacle: Dana's storyline. Jack was strung up when he was being shocked and was probably able to withstand the current by riding the high of finally being taller than someone. The most believable part of Dana's storyline is that she was able to get from Long Island City to Jersey City in eight minutes.
Are you on Team Arlo or Team Cole?
M.L. House: Team Cole. What's the worst Arlo could do to me, change my social security number? Cole could threaten to star in more movies!
LJ Gibbs: Team Arlo. At least he has some suspicious bones in his body. And, like I do, he digs Chloe's dumper.
The Barnacle: Despite his ridiculous, ever-changing accent, I'm on Team Cole. Did you see how tender he was fixing that rookie CTU agent's uniform on their way to find the rods? And do you future see how devastated he is going to be when said rookie agent is killed on his watch? That's husband/father material right there.
President Hassan's best asset: His hair or his ability to snuff out moles in his administration?
M.L. House: Considering there's a decent chance some moles are actually hiding in his hair, I'd say it's a draw.
LJ Gibbs: His hair. He's a modern day Samson, himself a product of the Middle East. Without his hair, he is nothing.
The Barnacle: His hair. Unfortunately, his worst asset is his inability to snuff out moles in his hair, which is so large that it houses a veritable ecosystem.
What will the CTU psychologist recommend for Renee?
M.L. House: Nothing. She's actually totally normal compared to the rest of the kooks that work there.
LJ Gibbs: Avoid Russian dressing, White Russians, Russian wolf hounds, Moscow, Idaho, and Turgenev novels.
The Barnacle: Less rape-inducing showers. More sun.