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Archer

Archer Round Table: "El Secuestro"

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After two weeks of epic cancer-themed episodes, things returned to normal on Archer. Well, relatively speaking anyway. Here's our Round Table discussion of "El Secuestro."

Come along as our panel dissects the latest episode of the FX hit in our weekly Q&A:

What was your favorite Archer quote from last night?  

Dr. Toboggan: Mallory: "Guess how many pygmies died cutting it down? I'll give you a hint 6." Archer: "Small price to pay for beauty." There is no family with better values than the Archers.

Mark F: Archer: "What's to prove? It's free labor."

Eric H: Pretty much anything out of Pam's mouth during her kidnapping. "Who taught you to punch, your husband?"

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Best Cheryl excuse for being late: sick ocelot, train dwarf, Pam's kidnapping, or the unused parents' funeral?

Dr. Toboggan: The parents' funeral and not because it was morbid and dark but because she followed that by saying her parents had just recently died and she skipped the funeral for fear of being fired.

Mark F: Well train dwarf obviously. You just never what they're thinking. They're a sneaky bunch. Walking around not at eye level doing sneaky things. And they can kick your shins. But since that one is taken I'll go with "sick ocelot." Cheryl doesn't even give it some tree branches, bouncy balls, or even a scratching post to play with. Maybe if she took care of it properly she would be just as excited about it as Archer.

Eric H: I'm going to disagree with Cheryl here and say the kidnapping was in fact not a better excuse than a train dwarf. I mean the thing looked directly at her!  Yuck.

You have some wiggle room, but what's your starting offer for Pam?

Dr. Toboggan: For the 42 or so of you who "like" this every week (please click like at the bottom) know I have a special place for Pam and her green Russians so I would have made rescuing her the number priority at any cost and just assumed I could have gotten all of Cheryl's money later by having Archer con her or something.

Mark F: Eh. But you had no idea about her Egyptian bare-knuckle boxing back story until after the fact. Going from Malory's position I would maybe say $20,000. Even though Pam is definitely one solid piece of something, how many pygmys died making her? Clearly, that is the new measuring stick of how I judge the quality of all my purchases now. But seriously, Before the boxing Pam could always run wingman, fit 4 pool balls in mouth, and can drink like a fish. That's worth at least $20,000... as a starting point, need room to negotiate.

Eric H: Did you see the way that woman took down an army of kidnappers!? I'm easily willing to throw out $100,000 on her. I think of it as an investment into my heavyweight boxer.

Okay, how much do you want a pet ocelot? Name yours.

Dr. Toboggan: First Eric, there is no such thing as buyer's remorse if you have a toilet with enough flushing power. But secondly I would never want one because I am against everything in the house cat family. If I had one I would call it Outside, because that is where it would live.

Mark F: Of course. I will call it Falcor and it will be glorious. Although seriously, we'll need to stop at a toy store and get it a stuffed animal or something. But I just realized something. What was with all the references to unusually rare small things... pygmys, dwarfs, ocelots, Cyril's bank account, Archer's purse... 

Eric H: Very much so now. But I'm sure I won't in three weeks, so I'll agree with Cheryl's second name, "Buyer's Remorse."

Cheryl backstory: ridiculous or ridiculously good?  Overall thoughts on episode?

Dr. Toboggan: Ridiculously good, all of the characters (minus Cyril) can carry an episode and make it hilarious. This crazy plot gave every character a ton of chances for great one liners and between Mallory and her table and Archer and Gilette working together I thought it was one of the better episodes of the season.

Mark F: Ridiculously good. Given all the things she's done and everything we know about her from past episodes, I could easily see her being the eccentric daughter of some funny elitist family. She's like Rose from Two and a Half Men but not as smart or vindictive. Also, her not knowing how to poach an egg makes total sense now because there's no way her Help has ever let her cook.

Eric H: Ridiculous. But in the grand scheme of ridiculous Archer backstories this season? She's got nothing on Krieger and the Boys of Brazil. Overall, I thought it was hilarious and featured enough of my ISIS goons (minus Krieger) to keep me laughing out loud enough even the second time around to alert my house guest.

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.

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