Classic TV Quotes: Gilmore Girls Season Three
Gilmore Girls premiered season three on September 24, 2002. It kicked off with drama, as Rory came home for her last year of high school to find Jess with another girl. Later on, she dealt with boy problems between Jess and Dean, along with the non-stop comedy from her family.
In addition, Lorelai dealt with some issues of her own. Between her hilarious arguments with Emily, and "motherly talks" with Rory, there was never a boring moment when she was in the scene!
Want to go back and remember some of the most hilarious moments from Season 3? We've posted the most memorable Gilmore Girls quotes from that time below:
Lorelai: (about Emily's manipulative tactics) She's like Lyndon Johnson with the Senate. Effortless. | permalink
Young Christopher: (in flashback, about baby Rory) She's pretty.
Young Lorelai: She's perfect.
Young Christopher: I guess this means we have to get married now. | permalink
Jess: If a horse-drawn carriage shows up here, my throwing up will be eternal. | permalink
Lorelai: We want to do it cheap.
Emily: We'll pay.
Rory: Grandma, it's going to be fun really.
Lorelai: Kids do it all the time.
Emily: Yes, but you're not a kid. | permalink
Lorelai: Tell Sherry to keep her legs crossed 'til I get there.
Rory: Does that work?
Lorelai: No. Bye. | permalink
Jackson: You wanna get another produce guy?
Sookie: Maybe I should!
Jackson: Well, go ahead!
Sookie: Don't tempt me!
Jackson: That's it, I am leaving.
Sookie: Go! And take the tendrils with you!
Jackson: Fine! See you tonight?
Sookie: I love you.
Lorelai: And it always ends with a hug. | permalink
Sookie: Oh wait! What's that? It's a bird, it's a plane, it's Super Jackson and his atomic pea tendrils! | permalink
Lorelai: You look peeved.
Emily: I'm not peeved.
Lorelai: Well, you look peeved.
Emily: Kindly stop making me say the word peeved. | permalink
Clara: Is Jess your real name?
Clara: Do you like it?
Jess: It's fine.
Clara: Would you rather be named Bill?
Jess: (to Dean) Does this belong to you? | permalink
Emily: (about Lorelai's house) Is it clean?
Lorelai: Yeah, it's clean.
Emily: If I came in there wearing white gloves, what would I find?
Lorelai: That you could pull a rabbit out of your hat. | permalink
Lorelai: I totally suck at buying my father gifts. Especially for his birthday.
Rory: He'll like whatever you get him.
Lorelai: If I slip him a Quaalude, he'll like whatever I get him. | permalink
Lorelai: Could you get rid of it?
Dean: Yeah, yeah.
Lorelai: Don't let his family see you. Spiders are vindictive. And this was a really big spider. I think it had a gun. | permalink
Clara: Jess can't throw.
Jess: I can, too.
Clara: You missed every time.
Jess: I can't concentrate with your annoying midget voice yammering on and on. It's like having Stuart Little shoved in my ear. | permalink
Dean: What's the matter, Jess? Why you walking away?
Jess: It's getting a little West Side Story here, Dean, and I gotta warn you, my dancing skills are not up to snuff. | permalink
Rory: Hey. (hands Luke a bouquet of flowers)
Luke: What's this?
Luke: What do I do with them?
Lorelai: Ugh, not this again.
Rory: Put them in a vase with water.
Luke: I don't have a vase.
Lorelai: You do this every year.
Luke: I don't have vases.
Lorelai: Buy a vase.
Luke: But I don't need a vase 'cause I never have flowers.
Lorelai: Except when we bring you flowers every year on Thanksgiving. Buy a vase. | permalink
Luke: Shouldn't we say thanks first?
Jess: For what?
Luke: Well, that we're not Native Americans who got their land stolen in exchange for small pox infested blankets.
Lorelai: Amen. | permalink
Lorelai: Rory what are we if not the world's champion eaters?
Rory: It's too much food.
Lorelai: It's not too much food. This is what we've been training for our whole lives. This is our destiny, this is our finest hour.
Rory: Or final hour. | permalink
Lorelai: Oh, please, we're not eating for a year.
Rory: Or 'til tomorrow morning.
Lorelai: Whichever comes first. | permalink
(picking dance partners for Lorelai)
Luke: What about that one?
Lorelai: Hum not!
Luke: Why not?
Lorelai: Too pale
Luke: So what?
Lorelai: Pale means sickly.
Luke: Or sunscreen.
Lorelai: Or mad cows disease!
Luke: Pale does not mean mad cows disease!
Lorelai: Have you ever had mad cows disease?
Luke: Just twice last week and and my color was wonderful. | permalink
Paris: But I already put him in my revenge notebook. | permalink
Lorelai: Have you seen Sookie or Jackson?
Luke: No, but have you tried the insane asylum, where everyone in this room is supposed to be. | permalink
Sookie: But, you're my best friend.
Lorelai: Yes, I am, and I can only remain your best friend as long as Jackson doesn't kill me.
Lorelai: Sookie, he's a produce man. They'll never find the body, but the squash'll be especially chatty that year. | permalink
Emily: And what do you intend to do with that paper clip?
Lorelai: I intend to carve something really dirty into the bathroom door.
Lorelai: What rhymes with Nantucket? | permalink
Kirk: Luke, where's your lost and found?
Luke: Outside, in the dumpster. | permalink
Kirk: (to Lorelai) I think you're the prettiest girl I've ever seen -- outside of a really filthy magazine. | permalink
Lorelai: But this goes against every rule I have in the Gilmore Survival Guide. Number one: No running with scissors. Number two: No page-boy haircuts. Number three: Never, ever have lunch alone with the mother. | permalink
Lorelai: We need perspective.
Rory: We need therapy.
Lorelai: And booze! (pause) For those of us over 21, of course. | permalink
Lorelai: This is an uncontaminated area. I even cleaned the table with something other than the sleeve of my sweater and spit! | permalink
Paris: What if I fall for him but he doesn't like me?
Rory: You'll find someone else.
Paris: What if there is no one else?
Rory: Then you'll get some cats. | permalink
Rory: I can't finish all this and sleep at the same time.
Lorelai: You have to sleep. It's what keeps you pretty.
Rory: Who cares if I'm pretty if I fail my finals?
Lorelai: Oh-kay. You've got this so completely backwards. | permalink