Gossip Girl Review: Miss Blair Digest Everything Now

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So far, so good. There's no doubt that Gossip Girl's fifth season could easily go flying off the rails in a matter of weeks, but the first two episodes have provided plenty of laughs, scandals and topics for debate.

Sure, "Beauty and the Feast" had its share of genuinely horrible acting and eye-rolling plot holes. But hey, that's Gossip Girl for you. If you care about the characters and their adventures, it still works.

I definitely do care, especially about Blair. Poor, pregnant, hilarious Blair.

Leighton on GG Set

Leighton Meester is always at her best when her character is scrambling, and boy, was that the case tonight. Thanks to her big secret and Princess Beatrice's bid to ruin Louis' future bride, B was on the ropes!

Meester conveys a range of emotions with such ease. You can't help but feel for Blair and wonder how the heck she's going to wrangle herself out of this one, while enjoying watching her squirm just the same.

I enjoyed the continuity aspect of this episode. Blair's bulimic tendencies resurfaced (as did Nate's pot ingesting and Serena's inability to see through obvious lies), even if she's no longer binging and purging.

Not willingly, anyway. The spawn of either Chuck or Louis is wreaking havoc in there, but because of her past eating disorder, Beatrice was convinced something was amiss. It was a nice, oddly realistic touch.

As realistic as a vindictive sister's plot to sabotage a royal wedding could be, at least. The strange thing? Finding out the real reason for Blair's frequent visits to les toilettes was actually a letdown for Beatrice!

Having realized that Blair is expecting a future heir(ess), she decided that's not a deal breaker for her family. But rest assured, Beatrice vowed as she mauled the priest in the limo (?!), the throne will be HERS.

It's all a bit roundabout. Then again, her courtship with Louis has felt that way fro the start, so whatever, I'll buy it. Ridiculous make-out session and ulterior motives aside, Beatrice proved a formidable foe.

Best of all, though, were Blair's exchanges with Dorota about their respective pregnancies. Absolutely priceless, as were her increasingly awkward efforts to hide it from everyone else. Blair made this episode.

Elizabeth Hurley and Chace Crawford

The fact that Dan emerged as her confidant was special as well. Odds are he's not the father, unless they both conveniently neglected to tell us something. Still, she and Humphrey have a bond all their own.

You'll always have me. No matter where you fall on the Chair/Dair/Blouis romantic spectrum, you have to admit that Blair and Dan have the strongest connection right now, even if it's strictly platonic.

While it's unlikely Dan and Blair did the deed at some point (we would've heard about it here), she and Chuck did. Louis' virility can only increase the probability so much. We see a DNA test in her future.

Chuck, of course, doesn't know this. Think the possibility of becoming a father would cure his mental block and allow him feel something again? A pregnancy has to carry the weight of 20 back alley fights.

For now, he's resigned to the latter, however. What we saw in last week's Season 5 premiere was an act. He's become numb to the world since he let Blair go, trying anything and everything to feel alive.

Dan, Nate and some random doctor weren't able to cure Chuck, but they did help him diagnose his condition in the end. Whether he'll dial it back or keep pushing his limits even further remains uncertain.

Speaking of continuity, how hilarious was Chuck name-dropping his old literary alter ego Charlie Trout when Dan brought up his predicament? Having seen every episode, I always appreciate such references.

Mr. Bass' explanation for coming around - "Just because I no longer feel doesn't mean everyone else should bear the humiliation" - was also choice. Typical Chuck. Despite his issues, he's a loyal friend!

Charlie or Ivy

His partner in crime Archibald is a loyal guy, too, but aside from getting naked with every new character (outdoors, no less!) and turning down prestigious internships, he's perpetual Gossip Girl pawn.

Whatever Diana Payne is up to, it can't be good, and Nate obviously doesn't see it coming. He's simply blinded by pot brownies, sex and man bangs. We all love him for it, but it does get a little stale.

Maybe we'll be surprised and Nate's storyline will actually be substantive. Most likely not. Regardless, it likely entails hot cougar sex and Elizabeth Hurley's character trying to take down Gossip Girl. Nice.

Equally, if not more gullible than Nathaniel is Serena, who wants SO DESPERATELY to be BFFs with non-cousin Charlie that she overlooks her overtly shady behavior approximately every 30 seconds.

The L.A. scenes were definitely the weak point of this episode, both in terms of plot and character investment. Why doesn't Serena take a hint? Why couldn't Ivy successfully ditch her? Does anyone care?

Hopefully, Serena and Charlie/Ivy will be woven into the broader narrative this fall in a clever way, because tonight didn't do it for me. It's early yet, at least. Plenty of time for her to forget her meds.

That's all for now, but "Beauty and the Feast" should give you plenty discuss with TV Fanatic as you hit the comments below! Come back tomorrow for news, promos and our Round Table! Finally, tonight's poll:

Who is the father of Blair's baby?

 

Review

Editor Rating: 3.7 / 5.0
  • 3.7 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 4.4 / 5.0 (223 Votes)

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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There's a long, proud tradition of European cotorans ridiculing Republican presidents and the behind their , that destroyed the of the , had , gave more to their opponents, threatened to , and were certain to end in , leaving the country they tried to hold together forever.

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Hated it. I think part of the reason was that I cgauht it after it was hyped up to be a "documentary" and subsequently debunked. Had I gone in thinking it was real, maybe I would have found it more chilling. Instead it seemed like a typical overwrought student film that predated those silly Ghost Hunter shows on Syfy.

Reeling

OMFG, I really don't want to see Blair as a mother! It will ruin the show completely. I know that the characters of GG have grown up and all that, but a baby is too much, especially for Blair. Does someone agree with me?

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I'm not going to defend Chuck's actions in 4.20 but I'd hardly consider what he did attempted rape. I've seen a few people assert the same thing (and by a few, I mean like very few people) and I just don't see it. Toxic? Unhealthy? Sure. Attempted rape? Not in my opinion. I respect that people don't want Chuck and Blair together and I was personally unsettled by that scene but I see no evidence of anything other than Chuck punched a plate of glass. I do think that equating scenes like that to attempted rape are a slap in the face to real life victims, though, and as a real life victim I think I can say that with some authority. I do appreciate that opinions will differ on this matter even though I personally feel yelling "rapist" from rooftops is a complete overreaction. I also understand that some are concerned by how the impressionable, young audience's views on healthy relationships could be molded by the show calling C/B a "great love". However, I think parents of teens need to either shut off the damn TV or have a conversation with their child after the episodes air rather than call for censorship. The follow up to 4.20 has left much to be desired and including that scene was totally unnecessary but the show itself has pointed out many times how C/B's relationship is dark, "sick and twisted", toxic, etc.

Sanaa185

LOVED blair in this episode! she was so hilarious. leighton is just flawless!
i liked the dair friendship scenes. they were really cute =) also, duck is starting to grow on me =P
serena and ivy were so boring, it was almost sad. and nate going after ANOTHER random lady who obviously has an agenda? that really WAS sad.
can't wait for chair! and for chuck to find he's gonna be a father!

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@ kristina: I see that you feel strongly about this issue. The point I was trying to make was that people from all over the world saw that scene and didn't felt Chuck was going to rape Blair, I didn't felt he was going to rape her but obviously you felt differently. That doesn't mean I'm happy about what happened, I still don't understand what the writers were trying to achieve with that scene. I'm glad that you know about the GH couple, when I read about that I was very shocked, that was way over the line for me.

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@pty
Yes, I know GH's Luke and Laura. And that's exactly why I'm angered by Chuck's attempt of a rape. The 80's making L&L's love story a legend or 'the greatest love ever in time' is totally sick. 30 years better, I would have expected humans to evolve into wiser viewers and not accept this as ok! As for it being viewed around the world, I don't see the point why it could be acceptable. Except for Africa, the rest of the world also see rape, or even an attempt of it, as evil. It will never be ok. The people who are still rooting for Chair are usually teenagers because they're young and their judgment between right and wrong is still being developed. Unfortunately, it is being molded wrongly by what is shown in Chair's love story.

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@ kristina: if you are referring to the 4x20 scene, you should know that many didn't felt or even thought that he was trying to rape her in that scene. We are talking about viewers from around the world, from Europe to India passing for Latin America, Canada, Australia, you name it. People of different ages and professions, who speak 4 languages, have kids, are married, single, are teens, in their 20s or 30s, etc. As for me, I didn't thought he tried to rape her but I've always said that scene was uncalled for, unnecessary and downright problematic, and I will never understand what were the writers thinking when they decided to go for it. But if this troubles you so much, you should know that in the 80s, General Hospital had a couple where the guy actually raped the girl at one point yet at the end they were married, and last year this couple was included in the list of the 25 most epic TV couples by a magazine, I think you would feel better focusing your outrage on that.

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What a lot of people seem to miss is that Chuck once tried to rape Blair. How could a rapist be a couple with the victim? It won’t be right for them to be together because he tried to RAPE her. In the real world, the girl who almost became a victim to rape would totally loathe the attempted rapist. If you were the girl, or your sister or your daughter, would you root to get back with the attempted rapist just because you seem to be the perfect couple? Since that episode, Chair has lost all its magic on me. Blair should be with other guys, not Chuck!

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@loraine: woah! Just googled both their pics, agreed about beatrice and charlotte, dunno bout pierre he's much different then louis, wish louis was like that and would loosen up a bit and stop bein sucha lovesick baby -_-