Gossip Girl Review: Miss Blair Digest Everything Now

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So far, so good. There's no doubt that Gossip Girl's fifth season could easily go flying off the rails in a matter of weeks, but the first two episodes have provided plenty of laughs, scandals and topics for debate.

Sure, "Beauty and the Feast" had its share of genuinely horrible acting and eye-rolling plot holes. But hey, that's Gossip Girl for you. If you care about the characters and their adventures, it still works.

I definitely do care, especially about Blair. Poor, pregnant, hilarious Blair.

Leighton on GG Set

Leighton Meester is always at her best when her character is scrambling, and boy, was that the case tonight. Thanks to her big secret and Princess Beatrice's bid to ruin Louis' future bride, B was on the ropes!

Meester conveys a range of emotions with such ease. You can't help but feel for Blair and wonder how the heck she's going to wrangle herself out of this one, while enjoying watching her squirm just the same.

I enjoyed the continuity aspect of this episode. Blair's bulimic tendencies resurfaced (as did Nate's pot ingesting and Serena's inability to see through obvious lies), even if she's no longer binging and purging.

Not willingly, anyway. The spawn of either Chuck or Louis is wreaking havoc in there, but because of her past eating disorder, Beatrice was convinced something was amiss. It was a nice, oddly realistic touch.

As realistic as a vindictive sister's plot to sabotage a royal wedding could be, at least. The strange thing? Finding out the real reason for Blair's frequent visits to les toilettes was actually a letdown for Beatrice!

Having realized that Blair is expecting a future heir(ess), she decided that's not a deal breaker for her family. But rest assured, Beatrice vowed as she mauled the priest in the limo (?!), the throne will be HERS.

It's all a bit roundabout. Then again, her courtship with Louis has felt that way fro the start, so whatever, I'll buy it. Ridiculous make-out session and ulterior motives aside, Beatrice proved a formidable foe.

Best of all, though, were Blair's exchanges with Dorota about their respective pregnancies. Absolutely priceless, as were her increasingly awkward efforts to hide it from everyone else. Blair made this episode.

Elizabeth Hurley and Chace Crawford

The fact that Dan emerged as her confidant was special as well. Odds are he's not the father, unless they both conveniently neglected to tell us something. Still, she and Humphrey have a bond all their own.

You'll always have me. No matter where you fall on the Chair/Dair/Blouis romantic spectrum, you have to admit that Blair and Dan have the strongest connection right now, even if it's strictly platonic.

While it's unlikely Dan and Blair did the deed at some point (we would've heard about it here), she and Chuck did. Louis' virility can only increase the probability so much. We see a DNA test in her future.

Chuck, of course, doesn't know this. Think the possibility of becoming a father would cure his mental block and allow him feel something again? A pregnancy has to carry the weight of 20 back alley fights.

For now, he's resigned to the latter, however. What we saw in last week's Season 5 premiere was an act. He's become numb to the world since he let Blair go, trying anything and everything to feel alive.

Dan, Nate and some random doctor weren't able to cure Chuck, but they did help him diagnose his condition in the end. Whether he'll dial it back or keep pushing his limits even further remains uncertain.

Speaking of continuity, how hilarious was Chuck name-dropping his old literary alter ego Charlie Trout when Dan brought up his predicament? Having seen every episode, I always appreciate such references.

Mr. Bass' explanation for coming around - "Just because I no longer feel doesn't mean everyone else should bear the humiliation" - was also choice. Typical Chuck. Despite his issues, he's a loyal friend!

Charlie or Ivy

His partner in crime Archibald is a loyal guy, too, but aside from getting naked with every new character (outdoors, no less!) and turning down prestigious internships, he's perpetual Gossip Girl pawn.

Whatever Diana Payne is up to, it can't be good, and Nate obviously doesn't see it coming. He's simply blinded by pot brownies, sex and man bangs. We all love him for it, but it does get a little stale.

Maybe we'll be surprised and Nate's storyline will actually be substantive. Most likely not. Regardless, it likely entails hot cougar sex and Elizabeth Hurley's character trying to take down Gossip Girl. Nice.

Equally, if not more gullible than Nathaniel is Serena, who wants SO DESPERATELY to be BFFs with non-cousin Charlie that she overlooks her overtly shady behavior approximately every 30 seconds.

The L.A. scenes were definitely the weak point of this episode, both in terms of plot and character investment. Why doesn't Serena take a hint? Why couldn't Ivy successfully ditch her? Does anyone care?

Hopefully, Serena and Charlie/Ivy will be woven into the broader narrative this fall in a clever way, because tonight didn't do it for me. It's early yet, at least. Plenty of time for her to forget her meds.

That's all for now, but "Beauty and the Feast" should give you plenty discuss with TV Fanatic as you hit the comments below! Come back tomorrow for news, promos and our Round Table! Finally, tonight's poll:

Who is the father of Blair's baby?

 

Review

Editor Rating: 3.7 / 5.0
  • 3.7 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 4.4 / 5.0 (223 Votes)

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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i appreciate that most people think the baby is chuck's but ive been wondering what would happen if a)it is actually louis' or b)blair lies and tells everyone that its louis' while chuck realises he could have been a father? in the first case could it jolt blair into realising she secretly wanted it to be chuck's?
and in the second case, it could cause chuck to start feeling again? feeling bereft? and dan somehow figuring out the secret and bringing chair back together?

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@ Alf: to be completely honest I must admit that in Serena's case there was a point where I was ok if she ended up with either Dan, Nate or Carter, in that order. After her words to Dan in 4x10 "Gaslit" I came to the conclusion that her feelings for Dan were the stronger ones but it is very difficult to be believe her sometimes, she's so fickle and she was definitely torned between Dan and Nate, a fact she was very much aware of when she made the eclairs and napoleons comparison to Blair in Paris and how she struggled with that decision during the first 4 episodes of season 4. The problem was like many storylines in this show, after a start where it was reasonably well carried it got convoluted, silly and was affected by the Juliet arc and what not, and at the end of the season it was picked up again for a nonsensical scene where she said she never picked between them after she in fact did so in 4x10 and at least Dan was informed back them of her decision. The thing with CB is, that in their case I feel that either of them ending up with something else is like settling down for less of what they have. I compare this type of situations with Sleepless in Seattle, if you have seen that movie, you might remember that Meg Ryan's character was very much engaged with Bill Pullman's character, but after she hears Tom Hanks character speaking in the radio about his death wife she starts fantazing about meeting him and seriously considers this possibility (and sometimes acts on it, to the point when they see each other a couple of times and the conmotion inside each of them is such they forget about the world surrounding them). At the end, Meg Ryan's character confesses Bill Pullman's character what she has been doing, and Bill Pullman's character says to her "Annie (the name of Meg Ryan's character), I love you. But I don't want to be someone with which you are settling down". For me that's the thing here, if Blair ends up with Louis, Dan, or if she had ended up with Nate back in seasons 1 or 2, she indeed could be happy, like she says she is with Louis, but she wouldn't be all the happy she could be if she and Chuck manage to make it work. She would be settling down, and she could live the rest of her life like this, and it would be ok, but she would always feel like something is missing, and if she doesn't feel it at the beginning she would feel it eventually. That's what many felt after her romantic link with Nate concluded, that if it had continue, both of them would eventually had felt they settled down for less of what they could have had appart, and maybe 20 years from now the weight of that knowledge would have been heavy enough to drive them a divorce, which at the end of the day is a possibility that she could also face with Louis or Dan. Sadly, Chuck and Blair of the past 4 seasons were crazy enough to divorce after a fight, but at least evidence shows that even after something like that the love would still be there, and maybe the idea of both of them growing up this season is to prevent that kind of past behaviour. Thank you for remembering the words that Chuck used like hoi polloi and such, I wanted to use them in my previous post but I couldn't remember them. Your perception about Chuck's behaviour in school is one I've seen many times in fanfiction, I think it can be agreed this is what most likely happened with him in relation to his studies. I have heard comments before about the TWOP forum. I love TWOP recaps but I have heard their forum is brutal. @ Uncle Jackass: lol :)

Uncle-jackass

@pty, You honour me, but I still prefer the Moderators over my "madman in a box" rantings.

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@pty- I admire your loyalty and I do think it is good to maintain if one is a long time fan of a show- for me at least. And I don't mean just loyalty to the couples but the friendships, the individual characters and the the program itself. Then again I'm the type of person that likes to see a show down until the end. However, I think it's definitely possible to like two ships at once. I personally have liked the Blair/Dan snarky, bickery frenemy interactions in the past but couldn't see anything remotely romantic from either side until this past episode. I haven't forgotten all the great moments between Chuck and Blair in the past (and I look forward to more in the future- romantic, platonic or something else entirely). I enjoy all the friendships on the show at this point so I think that can translate liking multiple romantic relationships too. Basically I think loyalty to a "ship" is great but when it starts to impede with a viewer's enjoyment of the show as whole- as it does for some- then that's when it is excessive. I also totally agree with you about Chuck and Blair being compatible intellectually and not just in the bedroom or during a scheme. I think this is evident in the season 2 Winter Ball episode where C and B pick each other's dates. Blair describes Chuck's ideal girl as "intellectual but not a book worm". In the same episode he shows his mastery of SAT vocab. (and rattles off words like "prole" and hoi polloi in other episodes). Chuck's crafty and the first to respond with a witty quip. I always got the sense that he just didn't apply himself to anything but partying, booze and women. Dan and Blair are matched in many areas too but I still wonder how'd they fair when not in isolation together or how Dan will react to Blair's manipulative side (if that side of her even exists anymore?). Word to you pointing out that there are hateful and peaceful people rooting for all sorts of ships. Heck, some people are looking to hate on ANYTHING. Most of those commenters congregate at TWoP (I kid!...But not really...).

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@ kimmie : agreed! Curls looked the best :D

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they so imitated prince louis as Pierre Casiraghi and Princess Beatrice as Charlotte Casiraghi...

Aries93

Wow. Gossip Girl has managed to pull off two interesting episodes in a row. I hope they manage to keep it up. I'm hoping for a Dair connection too.
Also, anyone notice that Blair said (when pretending to speak for Dorota) that she has slept with "a few men"? A few is means more than two for me. I HOPE IT'S A DAIR BABY or at least a Louis baby! Screw Chuck!

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I guess the criteria of whether change or not change ships varies from person to person. For me at least, loyalty is a big thing to me and I would feel that I'm not being loyal if I change ship. I liked them for a reason, I believed in that reason and once I made up my mind I also decided to stuck with them even if the ship sinks. But everybody has his own opinion about how things should be. And I also agreed that there are crazy shippers in all sides who are disrespectuful, just in the same way that are shippers who respect other people's opinions. Before I forget, to Uncle Jackass: that was some analysis, you should be a recaper. I do not agree that Chuck and Blair were all about sex. They were more than sex. Like someone said here, Chuck is not an ignorant person. The backgrounds of these kid academic records were not very clear in all the cases. It was left clear that Blair had the perfect record, and the graduation ceremony hinted visually that she, Dan and Nelly Yuki were valedictorians (they had something in their togas that the others didn't had, I can't remember what it was right now but it was a ribbon or something of the sort). We know that Dan was accepted in Yale, so it's obvious that he also had a pretty good record. During the Rachel Karr storyline we gather from Serena's sayings that she was not perceived as an academic person, like someone who could actually write a good paper on a novel for example. Yet even Rachel Karr herself admitted to like Serena's paper and Serena has more than once hinted to knowing Fitzgerald work, and that was before this storyline with the book and movie "The Beautiful and the Damned". I think in season 1 it was hinted that Nate wasn't a good student (during his part in Queller's office in episode 1x12 "School Lies", I think). And Bart alluded to Chuck not getting A notes in episode 1x7, "Victor/Victrola". However in Chuck's case we see stuff like quoting Shakeaspeare in the last episode as it was mentioned here, phrases like the one he said to Dan in 2x14 In the Realm of the Basses (something about the plebe in Greek), his only dream that we have seen in 3x18 which was a like a 50's black and white film noir, and things of the sort that made us see that he does know cultural stuff and his academic record was probably laziness or desinterest, not ignorance. So intellectually he's not below Blair or Dan and they also share viewpoints, ideas about status and social behaviour and standing, etc. with Blair.

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And I love Blair's hair in this season. Keep it like this please or go back to her curls in season 1

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The episode was good because there was a lot happening with everyone.
Serena’s movie storyline is over thank goodness. Unfortunately it means we will see more of Charlie/Ivy. Noooooooo. One thing I forgot to mention was, Ivy went undercover for Lily’s sister, and did what she was supposed to do. So I find it weird that with all the money she got, she still lived in that crappy apartment. She seemed like she was a professional at it, yet she was going to work as a waitress. And she and whoever that guy was seem very in love, but she dumped him like that. Kind of hard to believe anyone is that cold.
Nate and Diana are exactly like Marcus’ stepmom and him. At first he is the one trying to get the woman now the old woman wants him. She is clearly going to trap him like Katherine did. So cliché.
If Louis was able to stop the publishing of Dan’s article then shouldn’t he ask Louis once again to use his royal power and stop the publishing of the whole book? Since Chuck is too stubborn? Ugh!!! I hate that Blair and Dan are still even considered to be a couple. They don’t belong together. Blair is meant to be with Chuck. The only two good things about Dan being in the episode were to see how devastated he looked the both times he has to hear about Blair sleeping with Chuck from Chuck and her sleeping with Louis from Blair. And it has clear up any misinterpretation that Dan is the possible father. The answer is no!!!!!!! I can’t even believe some people would think he was a possibility in the first place. Dan and Blair have only kissed. Thank God. Therefore even if Blair and Dan somehow get together after her relationship with Louis, they are not going to be together forever.
Blair was so funny as always. The beginning with Dorota is hilarious. What I am sad about is to hear her say that the likelihood of Chuck being the father is very slim. We all want him to be because Chair is endgame. Ugh and I hate that this episode does not have any Chair interactions. At least they talked about each other more in this episode than the premiere. I hate that Dan was the one she came to for comfort.
Chuck is so lost �. My baby, I feel for him. Hang on Chuck!!! There is always hope. Chair forever.