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Gossip Girl Review: Miss Blair Digest Everything Now

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So far, so good. There's no doubt that Gossip Girl's fifth season could easily go flying off the rails in a matter of weeks, but the first two episodes have provided plenty of laughs, scandals and topics for debate.

Sure, "Beauty and the Feast" had its share of genuinely horrible acting and eye-rolling plot holes. But hey, that's Gossip Girl for you. If you care about the characters and their adventures, it still works.

I definitely do care, especially about Blair. Poor, pregnant, hilarious Blair.

Leighton on GG Set

Leighton Meester is always at her best when her character is scrambling, and boy, was that the case tonight. Thanks to her big secret and Princess Beatrice's bid to ruin Louis' future bride, B was on the ropes!

Meester conveys a range of emotions with such ease. You can't help but feel for Blair and wonder how the heck she's going to wrangle herself out of this one, while enjoying watching her squirm just the same.

I enjoyed the continuity aspect of this episode. Blair's bulimic tendencies resurfaced (as did Nate's pot ingesting and Serena's inability to see through obvious lies), even if she's no longer binging and purging.

Not willingly, anyway. The spawn of either Chuck or Louis is wreaking havoc in there, but because of her past eating disorder, Beatrice was convinced something was amiss. It was a nice, oddly realistic touch.

As realistic as a vindictive sister's plot to sabotage a royal wedding could be, at least. The strange thing? Finding out the real reason for Blair's frequent visits to les toilettes was actually a letdown for Beatrice!

Having realized that Blair is expecting a future heir(ess), she decided that's not a deal breaker for her family. But rest assured, Beatrice vowed as she mauled the priest in the limo (?!), the throne will be HERS.

It's all a bit roundabout. Then again, her courtship with Louis has felt that way fro the start, so whatever, I'll buy it. Ridiculous make-out session and ulterior motives aside, Beatrice proved a formidable foe.

Best of all, though, were Blair's exchanges with Dorota about their respective pregnancies. Absolutely priceless, as were her increasingly awkward efforts to hide it from everyone else. Blair made this episode.

Elizabeth Hurley and Chace Crawford

The fact that Dan emerged as her confidant was special as well. Odds are he's not the father, unless they both conveniently neglected to tell us something. Still, she and Humphrey have a bond all their own.

You'll always have me. No matter where you fall on the Chair/Dair/Blouis romantic spectrum, you have to admit that Blair and Dan have the strongest connection right now, even if it's strictly platonic.

While it's unlikely Dan and Blair did the deed at some point (we would've heard about it here), she and Chuck did. Louis' virility can only increase the probability so much. We see a DNA test in her future.

Chuck, of course, doesn't know this. Think the possibility of becoming a father would cure his mental block and allow him feel something again? A pregnancy has to carry the weight of 20 back alley fights.

For now, he's resigned to the latter, however. What we saw in last week's Season 5 premiere was an act. He's become numb to the world since he let Blair go, trying anything and everything to feel alive.

Dan, Nate and some random doctor weren't able to cure Chuck, but they did help him diagnose his condition in the end. Whether he'll dial it back or keep pushing his limits even further remains uncertain.

Speaking of continuity, how hilarious was Chuck name-dropping his old literary alter ego Charlie Trout when Dan brought up his predicament? Having seen every episode, I always appreciate such references.

Mr. Bass' explanation for coming around - "Just because I no longer feel doesn't mean everyone else should bear the humiliation" - was also choice. Typical Chuck. Despite his issues, he's a loyal friend!

Charlie or Ivy

His partner in crime Archibald is a loyal guy, too, but aside from getting naked with every new character (outdoors, no less!) and turning down prestigious internships, he's perpetual Gossip Girl pawn.

Whatever Diana Payne is up to, it can't be good, and Nate obviously doesn't see it coming. He's simply blinded by pot brownies, sex and man bangs. We all love him for it, but it does get a little stale.

Maybe we'll be surprised and Nate's storyline will actually be substantive. Most likely not. Regardless, it likely entails hot cougar sex and Elizabeth Hurley's character trying to take down Gossip Girl. Nice.

Equally, if not more gullible than Nathaniel is Serena, who wants SO DESPERATELY to be BFFs with non-cousin Charlie that she overlooks her overtly shady behavior approximately every 30 seconds.

The L.A. scenes were definitely the weak point of this episode, both in terms of plot and character investment. Why doesn't Serena take a hint? Why couldn't Ivy successfully ditch her? Does anyone care?

Hopefully, Serena and Charlie/Ivy will be woven into the broader narrative this fall in a clever way, because tonight didn't do it for me. It's early yet, at least. Plenty of time for her to forget her meds.

That's all for now, but "Beauty and the Feast" should give you plenty discuss with TV Fanatic as you hit the comments below! Come back tomorrow for news, promos and our Round Table! Finally, tonight's poll:

Who is the father of Blair's baby?

 

Review

Editor Rating: 3.7 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 4.4 / 5.0 (223 Votes)

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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If this is the last season for Gossip Girl then I think Blair's baby will be Dan's. They say opposites attract, and those two characters are real opposites -- in a good way, without the cruelty of the Blair/Chuck ones. Chuck will become like his late father, an unloved man. Nate and Serena will stumble on as the privileged, clueless offsprings of the rich A morality play on the "Upper East Side".

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I like Louis and am rooting for him and Blair. He's very sweet and I'm hoping Chuck and Louis both continue to fight hard for Blair.

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Thats ridiculous. How are we not allowed to change ships? Is there some kind of rule in the world of television melodrama that forces you to ship the same couple from the beginning till the end of a show? Again, Chuck and Blair had their moments but after a while one is allowed (and I say even justified) to change his heart for another couple. As a show develops, so do the characters which means that we might end up liking a couple more than another. As much as I loved Chuck and Blair, I can say that I'm a Dair shipper too!

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I believe that when the show first aired, it expected Serena to be the leading lady. I think they thought she'd be the most popular character. It's obvious that since Season 1, Blair has become the main ingredient for GG. And rightfully so. Her character takes the cake. It's written well, it's played well. It's the most exciting to see. I hope that this never changes.

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I am both a Chuck/Blair fan and a Dan/Blair fan. Yes it's possible. While I like the idea of Chair being end game, I definitely would love to see a relationship with Blair/Dan happen first. I also hope the baby is Chuck's and being that Dan is aware of Blair's whole situation, even if she has the baby, it's Chucks, I still see a relationship happening with Blair. Of course this is all wishful thinking on my part.
The whole Charlie storyline is pointless. It was what I personally found to be the least interesting part of the show last night. First of all, she could've gotten herself out of it a bit easier than she did and seriously, how did Serena not see that she was trying to get out of it.
I actually like the pot Nate better than the straight Nate. He has more personality this way. It makes me think of old GG.

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I enjoyed this episode way more than the premier and the sole reason: Blair. I always say she makes GG. From scene one when Blair very nicely tells the doctor about Dorota's one night stand to her sick face every she saw food to her heartfelt confession to Dan in the end- she was BRILLIANT. I felt for her, laughed at her and ultimately was confused. She SO DESERVES this fairytale- GG always has made Blair suffer and I wish this time was different. She deserves a handsome devoted man... and I understand her issues with abortion as well. The implicit denial about paternity was well shown. Moving on, Beatrice is really a formidable foe though her hooking up with the priest was kinda weird. I am hoping to see more of the royal family drama...Louis is really sweet. He just needs to develop some more defining characteristic. Now he is just a typical nice guy. I love this new Chuck- he isnt exactly new.. But he is so much more like season 1/2 Chuck that I enjoy his scenes. Please refrain from any business related sl for him this season. I also think he is the sort of character who needs to used wisely. Felt so sad for Chuckles... trust him to go numb when he loses Blair. I loved the DUCK scenes. Infact I enjoyed the Dan scenes a lot nowadays... His book sl is really interesting and I loved the way he is interacting with Blair. Dair have a great friendship. I am loving that Blair has found a new more stable and balanced Serena... I loved his you will always have me... though it still feels weird to see them act so friendly.. Nevermind, if Blair stole the show the duck scenes were the icing. I loved every single scene... they ere priceless.Just dont make them friends.. I cant take that! Nate was supposed to get a real sl... what happened, writers? The sex was hot though. Serena/Ivy was a nice filler but I dont have geniune interest in that sl. All in all- A good start to season 5-Hope they continue with it:)

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I find it funny how some people say they were Chuck and Blair fans and now say they are in love with DB. I bet it's the same person. The fact that the ratings are dropping show DB can't carrry the show. People are not jumping ship,they are just stopping watching. I know a lot of people upset with the lack of CB and SB. Only DB having scenes is just making the ratings drop (there is even an article about how awful the ratings for gg were)and the buzz dying

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I swear, i was the biggest chuck and blair fan ever, but when boring Dan took her in his arms and told her, that she still got him, whatever happend, i must admit, that i fell in love with this couple.
Chuck and Blair, that was always hot chemistry and the picture of two peaople who couldn`t with or without, and i`m waiting since the 7th episode of the first season for a happy end. But now, i hate to say it. Thinks changed, slowly, but Dan and Blair, this is a real sweat romance. And if i could write it, i would put them both together on really epic way..
Dear writers, i hate you for making me fallin in love with them..
damned

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I'm really annoyed by people saying Chuck and Blair are done. Nobody knows right now which direction the show will go to make such judgements. Chuck behaving numb because of loosing Blair doesn't scream "over" to me. A possible child between doesn't scream over either. Realistically, the show is right to say Louis has more chances to be the father, but also realistically and in the grand scheme of the plot Chuck has more chances because it's unlikely they give the paternity to a guess star, unless the kid isn't going to be born at alk or both Louis and the kid will make guest appearances all the time.

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GG writers should take a look at the ratings an realize that this show can't live without Chuck/Blair and Serena/Blair. I am sorry,Dan and Blair are cute as friends, but they can't carry the show emotionally. The W 18-34 demos dropped last episode Waratah, if you missed it, Chuck quoted Shakespeare in the episode. It's not only Blair and Dan who are intelectual in the show. It was something they had in common but it doesn't mean it was something exclusive of DB. In s3 CB went to arts and plays together. Chuck can fill her intectual side too.

Gossip Girl Season 5 Episode 2 Quotes

OB GYN: Dorota, how are you?
Blair: She's fine. I'm Blair, Dorota's employer. I have a few questions.
Dorota: Just go with it. Is only way.
Blair: What about breast sensitivity? She practically screams when anyone touches them. I can hear her all the way in Queens.
Doctor: Perfectly normal.
Blair: Great. And how long until she can determine the father of her child? She's had a few one night stands with the staff of our building...
Dorota: Blair Cornelia Waldorf!

Dan: Blair, what's going on? I thought you were mad at me.
Blair: And I forgive you if you shut up and guard the door.
Dan: It's not like you to forgive me. Or run away from a feast.

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