Gossip Girl Review: World War Waldorf

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In the run-up to Gossip Girl's winter finale, we were teased with promises of tensions boiling over between Dan and Chuck, Blair escaping her prenup after all, and another major scandal rocking the Upper East Side.

"The Princess Dowry" delivered on all accounts ... in an episode that was one of the most convoluted in recent memory (even by Gossip Girl standards). Still, it gave us plenty to discuss between now and April 2.

Only Gossip Girl would have Blair attempt to get around a previously airtight prenup, only to be shot down by the royals, only to be helped out by minder Estee, only to have that blow up in her face, in under an hour.

Behind it all was Georgina, who decided she was retiring as GG, but only after she blew the lid off a mega-scandal, then found out about and used an even bigger scandal as potential leverage, again in under an hour.

Meanwhile, Cece's will was read at her wake ... by the executor of her estate, William. All of her assets were left to her fake granddaughter, Ivy, spurning the Rhodes sisters and prompting Carol to drop a bomb ... on William.

While Georgina sauntered by, obviously, at that precise moment.

It was enough to make your head spin, but here's the upshot:

Chuck, Dan and Georgina

- Chair is no more. One week is like an eternity on the Upper East Side these days, so who knows if that will change. "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" seems pretty straightforward, however.

Chuck was not all bad tonight. He fell victim to Georgina's meddling and while it surely would've delighted him to take down Dan, he was also motivated by clearing his own name and protecting Blair.

The look on his face when he realized what he'd done to the Waldorfs financially said it all. He knew he screwed up big time, but it also wasn't his intent. Chuck's not perfect, but he's not a monster.

After Blair "broke up" with him, he immediately knew it even if they were never together and those words were never used. Her heart wasn't with him anymore. Yet he isn't all alone in this world.

Jack gave him the blood transfusion that saved his life, not Blair's pact with God. It's surprising he wasn't told about this earlier, and Jack's return to the show this spring should be very interesting.

- Dair it is. Despite Dan's misdeeds in sending the blast, he has her heart. Dair shared a passionate kiss, and according to the promo for the spring return (below), will soon share A LOT more.

Dan coming clean about sending the infamous blast, and his desire to keep Chuck and Blair apart - even if his hand was forced on both accounts - only served to strengthen Blair's connection to him.

Blair, like Chuck and Dan, is an imperfect character. She's made a lot of suspect decisions this season. Still, it was hard not to feel sympathy tonight when everyone seemed to have it out for her.

Everyone except Dan, who couldn't believe it when she arrived in the loft at the end. Dan (not Humphrey, but Dan) has won the heart of the girl he's longed for, who he never thought would reciprocate.

She's giving him THE look she once gave Chuck, and that kiss was hot, too. Certainly not of the fleeting "I want this but we can't do this" variety. These two are going to full-on maul each other.

Dair. Is. On.

The Princess Bride

- Blair's marriage is over, but the dowry still hangs over B, since she broke her word to her minder and was caught in a scandal 15 minutes after she cut a deal that make little sense to begin with.

This was easily the worst part of the episode. When the writing is this bad, and huge plot points are just undone haphazardly in a few lines of dialogue, it makes it hard to invest in ... well, anything.

I've always loved Georgina, but she was used and abused like a cheap plot device tonight, showing up in exactly the right place at exactly the wrong time to wreak loads of incomprehensible havoc.

Suspension of reality is par for the course while watching CW dramas, but this was way over the top. The plot holes were bigger than the hole smack in the front of her dress ... a classy touch.

There's just no way G could engineered all that. She's like Bonnie on The Vampire Diaries, only at least in Bon-Bon's case, she magically whips up spells. Yes, a witch is more believable than G.

Georgina's still more believable than that Estee chick, however. Seriously, what the heck.

- Anyway, Georgina is off to Monaco, with a promise to have B's dowry waived in exchange for a future "I owe you one" from Queen B, and the contents of her "G.G." laptop mailed off to Serena.

Will S read what's on that machine, and what will she do with it? Will she become the new GG? G-3, if you will? If so, she can only improve upon Phillip's performance. Talk about an epic fail!

- Lola is Serena's half-sister. Or so Carol claimed while demanding he figure out a way to reclaim the inheritance she believes she is entitled to) and the UES just got even more incestuous.

Nate has now hooked up with Serena, her stepsister (Jenny), her fake cousin (ChIvy) and her real cousin slash half-sister (Lola), and of course her BFF Blair. That's quite a feat, even for Nate.

Still, I like Nola together, and know at least one member of our Round Table panel who wouldn't mind seeing Chace Crawford's "I want to talk about feelings face," so I can't bash the guy here.

Serena's Dad is Back

- ChIvy has evicted Lily and Rufus. Geez, that nine-figure inheritance sure went to her head fast. Despite my frequent lampooning of the character, that was a twist that at least gave her some purpose ... and power.

Ballsy move to throw them out like that, Chives. Does she really stand a chance of keeping that money? Was she really Cece's innocent, well-meaning caretaker, or was there something sinister at work?

We were led to believe (mostly by ChIvy herself) that she was just staying with Cece out of the goodness of her heart, but everything she says is untrue by nature, so clearly there's more to this angle.

Between Carol's fake and actual daughters, the family drama ought to be ridiculous going forward. How far will William go to hide paternity? If at all? How will Lily react when that eventually comes out?

It's going to get ugly in any case. Not even Billy Baldwin's smooth-talking raspy voice (despite being an AWOL dad, he's almost charming!) can diffuse what's about to surface in this already fractured family.

Maybe Eric is better off in Zaire, considering the way things are going for the family right now. Even Serena is looking pretty despondent and lost at the moment. And she's the ultimate IT girl!

All in all, it was a pretty crazy episode, one which could've been a lot better, yet provided the requisite OMFG moments and set us up for a fun spring. Hopefully. What do you think will happen next?

Before we turn it over to your comments, as always, here's the Dair sex promo for April 2. It's okay, guys ... late night limo rides notwithstanding, the first time is never as good as you think it will be.

What did you think of this evening's Gossip Girl? Discuss below!

Review

Editor Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 4.1 / 5.0 (1025 Votes)

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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@ever The ratings have declined each season and that's because of terrible writing and storylines.

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Hi i just want to say about the ratings that the are low not because of dair but because in a lot of european countries we can't see the show on cw so we have to download and thats why in itunes gg is 1st.

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Even though I am a Chair shipper since s1 I like Dair and I believe that it consists a welcome break between Blair and Chuck after all that back and forth in the season...and besides Chuck is going to find out a BIG secret about his familly delivered by our(at least my)beloved uncle Jack and since Blair is unaware of last season's events I think that she would be an unwelcome distraction...and as for the big secret? I think that Diana is Bart's and Jack's sister aka Chuck's aunt...remember the photo on Bart's file...

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@Anonymous I've been telling people it went downhill in Season 3, that's where all the characters were ruined and they never recovered. Considering how certain fans like gemsiibear and Where's Waldorf are being condescending, it's certainly justified, if they can whine and bash other people, then I'm certainly within my right to express my opinions in the way I see fit. @gemsiibear How many times does Blair have to make yet another cheesy love proclamation speech before her feelings are confused again and she has to make up yet another pathetic excuse like the pact with God or the dowry? @Piaa Blair has forgiven Chuck for a lot worse. 'Season 5 finale'?

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I didn't like it. At all. It was to full of stuff. And yet, very boring. I don't like the fact that Blair just forgives Dan, when if other characters screw up she always made a HUGE deal about it. She is a shadow of the Blair we used to now, so weak, and I'm not digging that, not even a lil bit. Nate is nice with Lola but.... I dunno theres something about that girl.. I don't like it. I have the feeling she is going to do something terrible, though i am super intrested on how the William-Carol thing is gonna come out.
. Even though Serena was never my fav character I don't like the fact shes being left out of everything. Maybe the GG pc is gonna put a twist on that and reverse the situation. I hated the finale. Not just because is Dair, and I am A Chair girl, but because is was such a copycat of the seasons 5 finale. It ruined it for me.
I think the writers need to chillout and start making less drama-ful ep. coz this is TOOO much.
xxx

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as for nate i like him with lola, someone nice and normal who doesnt lie, well hopefully but we know what the writers are like with ruining characters/relationships. chivy i did think she was ok but as soon as she got cece's money and threw lily and rufus out i was screaming bitch lol, dont know how cece could leave everything to her especially when she knew she werent part of the family, guess she got all the money she was after in the end. still loving georgina and her husband is really cute, also i did not see william van der woodsen and carol and lola thing coming god that makes lola serenas half sister, looking forward to that playing out hope they dont drag it out as long as the chivy storyline.

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i actually enjoyed the episode, apart from the end lol, not a dair fan and didnt like how their kiss was made exactly like the chair s2 finale 'say it again', 'can you say it twice' kinda thing. i dont hate dair, i enjoyed their friendship but i dunno about a relationship. its definatly not going to last, i know quite a few dair fans have been saying shes made her choice its dan, well how many times has she chose chuck, yes she told chuck that she doesnt know if shes in love with him but thats called another meaningless line the writers came up with cos they are all out of ideas on what to say. she'll be telling dan she only likes him as a friend soon enough, but hey i'll let the dair fans enjoy it while they are on, i know i would if it was chair:)

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No, Dair is much better, and plus how many times Chair can go back and forward, it's been used and should be finished, hope that Dair will last longer and mostly i hope they will put more attention on the rest of their life, i mean where is the work, hobbies, all the stuff, it's been all the scheming for past few weeks and going to fast, it's not entertaining. I was thinking some time ago that Dair could actually be the best match, seasons ago I thought this could be an interesting, contrasting but also good choice. They really are perfect for each other, they could share passion, dreams, ideas more than rest of characters, hope it won't be ruined just bcs of sex, it would so immature, which is not how this relationship seems to be.

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Serena and chuck should totally get together, that would be the icing on the cake

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hey, from one Anonymous to an other, clm down mate! This is a place to express opinions. People being bummed with the show is an opinion too. And saying "well, don't watch it then" is pretty narrow minded. We liked the show from the beginning. Now it's getting bad, so we talk about it, but we still like it, we don't wanna give up on it. Plus, how do you want to make urself a good opinion if u don't know what ur talking about? Stop being so agressif dude. You can't really deny that the writing went down the slope since season 3! It's just a show, relax.

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