House Report Card: Everybody Grades

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The grumpy doctor has checked out.

This past Monday, House wrapped up an impressive eight-season run with a finale that sent the title character and his best friend riding into the sunset. What were the best moments/episodes of House Season 8? And 7? And 6? And... you get the point.

Below, House guru Lisa Palmer takes a look back and life in and around Princeton-Plainsboro and then offers up a final grade for the series as a whole.

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Best Episode of Season 1: “Three Stories” is the first episode that breaks the formula of the typical House episode and one of the ones that does it best. We also get to find out what happened to House’s leg.

Best Episode of Season 2: In “No Reason” House is shot by a disgruntled patient and converses with him throughout the episode as we find out more about what House is really thinking.

Best Episode of Season 3: Dave Matthews guest starred in an episode entitled “Half-Wit,” while House faked brain cancer with his team in order to get a fun drug treatment. Everyone reacts to his impending death. Fun ensues.

Best Episode of Season 4: It’s a tie between “House’s Head” and “Wilson’s Heart,” otherwise known as the bus accident episode and the one where Amber dies. Also, Cuddy strips!

House Finale Picture

Best Episode of Season 5: The last three episodes of this season were so strong. “A House Divided” brought Amber back as House’s subconscious and we got to see Chase’s bachelor party.  In “Under My Skin” House pretend detoxed and pretend slept with Cuddy. And in “Both Sides Now” House took his first steps down the road to Mayfield while Chase and Cameron tied the knot.

Best Episode of Season 6: Both the two part mental hospital season opener, “Broken,” and the impressive finale, “Help Me,” where House and Cuddy finally get together, blew me away this season.

Best Episode of Season 7: I’m a sucker for the premiere - “Now What?” - that completely foreshadowed the utter and complete failure that was House and Cuddy’s relationship  I also loved “Out of the Chute” that featured one of my favorite musical moments in the series. It used the song “My Body is a Cage” covered by Peter Gabriel, when House jumped into the pool from his hotel balcony. 

Best Episode of Season 8: Toss-up between “Post-Mortem” and “Holding On.” Both heavy on House/Wilson and Chase storylines.

Best episode of the Series: “House’s Head” engages me no matter how many times I’ve caught it on reruns. It’s always a gift to get inside someone like House’s mind and the writers are fully aware of this.

Best Season: This may not be a popular opinion, but I feel that season five is one of my favorites to rewatch. Season three is a close second.

Best Guest Star: Although his time on the show was short lived, Andre Braugher made a strong impact on me as House’s therapist, Dr. Nolan.

Worst Storyline: Taub and his children. House marries Dominika. (TIE)

Best Patient: My all-time favorite patient is the priest from the season 5 episode “Unfaithful.” He was witty, intelligent, and he challenged House’s views. 

Grossest Moment: Remember when that guy pulled his own tooth out in season six? Or when that someone’s eye popped out of his head? Or that one patient’s stomach exploded?

Most Memorable Clinic Patient: Tritter is memorable because he fought back. But how about the little pageant queen who swallowed mouth wash “because that’s what mommy does?" Or the asthma patient who used her inhaler as perfume? 

Favorite Team Member: Chase.  And Kutner, even though he wasn’t around very long. Does Amber count? 

Best Character: House, obviously. 

Least Favorite Team Member: Dr. Adams. No contest.

Unanswered Questions: Whatever happened to Wilson’s brother? Who was House’s real father? 

Worst Character Exit: Cuddy, since she never even got to say goodbye. Or she didn’t choose to. Whatever. Would have been nice to have closure either way.

Grade: B. House, I love you, but there have been some seriously mediocre episodes throughout the series. For that, and for the majority of season 8, you’ve earned a very much passing, albeit far from perfect, grade.

What grade would you give House?

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House Quotes

People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it.

House

Wilson: Who rents porn anymore? Can't you get this stuff on the Internet?
House: You can. But you can't get the director's cut.