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I'm dead. How do you want to spend your last five months?

House [to Wilson]

Is this hell? An eternity of people trying to convince me to live?

Don't be logical. Be desperate.

Stacy

House: He's happy.
Amber: He's dead.

I know you'll do the honest thing. You'll lie.

Foreman: You're stealing this guy's oxygen!
House: There's oxygen everywhere.

Death;s not interesting. You exist for what's interesting.

Kutner

I can't even get stoned without some annoying jerk thinking I need to be analyzed.

From what I hear, nothing black is tiny. Except your penis.

House [to Foreman]

I think it's time to accept you're smarter than me.

House (to Wilson)

Taub: You know he just doesn't want to live in pain.
House: Life is pain! I wake up every morning in pain! Work is pain! You know how many times I just wanted to give up? How many times I've thought about ending it?

Our entire relationship is about you. My dying is about me!

Wilson
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 792 in total

House Quotes

People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it.

House

House: Lift up your arms. You have a parasite.
Jill: Like a tapeworm or something?
House: Lie back and lift up your sweater. You can put your arms down.
Jill: Can you do anything about it?
House: Only for about a month or so. After that it becomes illegal to remove, except in a couple of states.
Jill: Illegal?
House: Don't worry. Many women learn to embrace this parasite. They name it, dress it up in tiny clothes, arrange playdates with other parasites...
Jill: Playdates...
House: (showing her sonogram) It has your eyes.