I'm dead. How do you want to spend your last five months?

House [to Wilson]

Is this hell? An eternity of people trying to convince me to live?

Don't be logical. Be desperate.

Stacy

House: He's happy.
Amber: He's dead.

I know you'll do the honest thing. You'll lie.

Foreman: You're stealing this guy's oxygen!
House: There's oxygen everywhere.

Death;s not interesting. You exist for what's interesting.

Kutner

I can't even get stoned without some annoying jerk thinking I need to be analyzed.

From what I hear, nothing black is tiny. Except your penis.

House [to Foreman]

I think it's time to accept you're smarter than me.

House (to Wilson)

Taub: You know he just doesn't want to live in pain.
House: Life is pain! I wake up every morning in pain! Work is pain! You know how many times I just wanted to give up? How many times I've thought about ending it?

Our entire relationship is about you. My dying is about me!

Wilson

House Quotes

You know another really good business? Teeny tiny baby coffins. You can get them in frog green or fire engine red. Really. The antibodies in yummy mummy only protect the kid for six months, which is why these companies think they can gouge you. They think that you'll spend whatever they ask to keep your kid alive. Want to change things? Prove them wrong. A few hundred parents like you decide they'd rather let their kid die than cough up forty bucks for a vaccination, believe me, prices will drop really fast.

House

You're an ass!

Dr. Adams