True Blood Review: Suck Me Beautiful

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This week on True Blood, Russell recalled meeting Jesus Christ and described him as a hippie that reeked of patchouli.

Well, at least he knew how to put on some clothes.

While "Sunset" revealed with some hints as to what we can expect in the finale, I found myself growing tired of Lilith's lack of modesty and any semblance of fashion sense. Maybe it's the whole afterbirth look, or the grizzled snatch patch she continues to sport. Forget about drinking her, she needs to ask Bill to "clean me, clean all of me."

Sookie and Jason Stackhouse

If Lilith appearing before multiple Authority members had some confused, Pam did well to clear up a good part of what has been going on. I thought the concept of a vampire nest seemed to make a lot of sense given the behavior we have seen Bill and the others displaying. I also found myself wondering if Godric just might be the one behind the various Lilith visions in hopes of saving his progenies by turning the other lost sheep against one another.

While Bill has obviously lost it, I did like his increasingly smug behavior this week. He loves to drop the "I have other matters I must attend to" line, doesn't he? It's like he's politely saying piss off. Must be nice to wield all that power.

Elsewhere, The Authority certainly doesn't seem to be feeling the recession, huh? What with Bill ordering Jessica to take the helicopter to Jason and Salome telling Eric and Nora to jump on the AVL jet. 

Loved seeing those two make up, make out and then some. Nora begged Eric to forgive her and I'm pretty sure as he zoomed off screen to put the thunder hips to her she was feeling pretty absolved. Eric came and went and of course just missed Pam arriving as Rosalyn's prisoner. Sam and Pam crossing paths in the hallway was perhaps my favorite moment of the episode. I have enjoyed the various story lines this season, but seeing all these characters bumping into each other countered those who have felt like the show has gone in too many directions.

With so much still unresolved, I felt like the lack of closure was a distraction, but I was still able to enjoy amazing scenes, such as all of Eric's amazing additions to the best True Blood quotes of the season, the Elder's game of "for or against" and Pam back in top form sassing Jessica at Fangtasia.

So if some of you found yourselves frustrated at times like I did, just focus on those moments, and if that is not enough you can always go back and watch a shirtless Alcide digging in the dirt. I was glad to see him and his dad put aside their issues to whoop up on those baby vampires. 

So... with just the finale left to sink our teeth into, I have come to a few conclusions.

  • I think Warlow is Bill. My feeling was bolstered by Sookie referencing how the air monster she saw told her "you are mine," just like Bill used to tell anyone who so much as looked in Sookie's direction.
  • I don't think Andy will be doing the "You are not the father" dance from the Maury Povich show anytime soon, but I do think he and Holly will end up together.
  • Tara will come to Pam's rescue with the help of Jessica and Jason and, while the latter won't get Russell. I do think he will take out his man-fan Steve.
  • Eric and Nora enlist the government's help and we will get to see some of those new toys the general boasted, in action. 

With so much still unanswered I felt like I had to stick my neck out here and make some guesses as to how this season will wrap up. Please weigh in with your thoughts and predictions as well. 

One last thought, though. Did anyone else find it hilarious that Arlene actually was worried about Terry getting her in trouble for kissing her while at work? At Merlotte's? Really? I think you're safe, Mrs. Bellefleur. 


Editor Rating: 3.8 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 4.4 / 5.0 (87 Votes)

no mention of the fairies? anyways that was my favorite part. i wished that they would have just worked together and defeated russel instead of making him more powerful oh he is annoying. and there is no way warlo is bill as we know bill is bill's real name and he's not old enough, plus he didnt know anything about fairies. russel is what 3 or 4 thousand years old? no way his real name is russel, im sure he's had hundreds of names through the centuries plus he's OBSESSED with fairies. or it could be the new big bad for next year? i'm sticking with my theory of russel til proven wrong. confused about lilith even more. if she is just a delusion, then was godric? and if godric is real why didnt he just tell eric and nora that lilith was a delusion? i know the "norms" of the show storylines are wrapped up but i wish they would find something for them to do with the other storylines instead of just wasting great talent


Sam: What the fuck are you dong here?
Pam: What the fuck are YOU doing here?
Sam: Save Luna!
Pam: Who the fuck is Luna?! Loved it!!!


Arlene funny as usual ! Loved when she started talking about the fire demon loool !
AND, Eric and the sister... Let me start by saying that "the blood is strong" ! WOW ! Yep, he totally forgave her loooool ! Glad the nonsense is over though, she was just crazy ! But hope Eric saves the day, and those secret weapons are certainly going to help him !


Loved the episode ! Russell definitely on crack/fairy blood looool ! Pam as usual, love her. And yes, kinda thought Tara would fall for her... good Jessica ! Speaking of, I fear for her. Bill's gone, like GONE and she's not gonna join the what's gonna happen to her?
That old fairy didn't even stand a chance, that was pathetic ! I thought she'd at least knock the crap outta Russel, but nope, he did.
Jason the hero !!!! loved it ! He's been a shining star this season !
Andy, u're in trouble ! Looks like preggy fairy isn't gonna let u go !
LOVED Sam and Pam meeting in the hallway loool, the use of the F word was just hilarious !
And I too think that Jason will end up killing Newlin !
Rosalyn that bitch, hope Pam stakes her good ! but wow, 204 kids, that's impressive !
Good theory, Godric being behind the apparitions... Yeah Lilith definitely needs to wax the down-under, coz it ain't lookin good !
AND, Eric and the sister... Let me start by saying that "the blood is strong" ! WOW ! Yep, he totally forgave her loooool ! Glad the nonsense is over though, she was just crazy ! But hope Eric saves the day, and those secret weapons are certainly going to help him !


Bill is not Warlow. I imagine the Warlow story will probably only be addressed in last episode with a momentary mention during the episode by Sookie, then in the last 10 seconds of the episode there will be a scene where she goes to close or door or something and THERE"S WARLOW! AHHH! Sookie screams or says 'hell no!' and screen goes dark and closing music plays. Eric is going to save the day and catch Sookie's eye again. Tara and he will save Pam. Sam will turn into a fly or something and escape from Bill. From previews looks like Jason is in the Authority layer and will work with Jessica to help get control,save Luna and baby wolf and Pam etc. Bill at some point could be zapped back into reality by Sookie's recharged powers. He needs to snap out of it already! Russell is going to get killed by...maybe Sookie? Will she rally the Fei and their powers? I feel like they owe Sookie a big finish for the lame year she had. Russell is great but this year they made him too over the top- so his actions were really too campy and way predictable. Maybe Andy's fei baby will come but I have a feeling this will be part of the hook for next season. Remember how Andy was saying he hated the sups, was sick of them. How funny if he is taking care of a baby that has fei powers! Could be some great comedic material for Chris Bauer. He cracks me up! That's all I got. Lilith will be vanquished- will not be missed- she annoyed me. Oh, Nora will probably get killed off saving Eric. She annoyed me too. Salome annoyed me too with her back wigs/extensions.


Bill was turned in 1865. Warlow is hundreds of years old - dating back to at least 1702. Bill is not Warlow.
Lafayette cannot contact Warlow because Warlow is too far removed from his medium powers. The witch entered Lafayette because she wanted to possess him. The warlow may be a fae/vampire hybrid. If that's the case, his "spirit" is nothing like a human spirit. (Brujo or witch - they were both humans.)
I would like to see Lilith get bbq'd, or destroyed in some fashion. So tired of that bloody mess. (I hope the actress got premioum pay for being doused in that sticky gooey red jam for all these episodes. Yuck!) Will Pam be jealous of Nora the way she was of Sookie? Will Alcide return to Shreveport or BT in the finale? Will Sam and Luna find some clothes to wear? Will the faeries get some cajones and fight Russell? Will Maurella have her baby? Will Sookie show us fae powers we haven't seen yet? Will Salome get her just desserts, and have her head served on a silver platter? Good goddess, I hope so!


Seriously! Can homegirl get a wax already? And there's something off with her fangs. they look too chunky. Anyway, I'm glad it's all coming together...with one episode left. Loved the scene with Arlene when she was giving advice to Andy and referenced the fire demon. hilar! I didn't like that fairy that Russel drained. Basically the whole Fairy bit has seems rather lame. Everything about it looks and seems cheesetastic! Can't wait to see how Eric saves the day.


Your comment moderation system is pretty weird.


Could anyone else see Warlow helping Snookie?


I could see Russell killing a lot of fairies and going after Snookie and maybe Warlow killing Russell. Just a guess. Would kinda make sense with what's happened with the contract.


True Blood Season 5 Episode 11 Quotes

Bill: Roman is no longer with us.
General: How?
Eric: He couldn't get with the program so he had to go.

Jason: You gonna be ok?
Sookie: Kind of strange to find out you were sold to a vampire 300 years ago.

True Blood Season 5 Episode 11 Music

  Song Artist
Song Introitus Requiem Crucial Music Corporation
Song Cars, Bars, and Guitars The Go Getters
Gayle lynn rodeo queen Rodeo Queen Gayle Lynn iTunes