True Blood Review: Suck Me Beautiful

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This week on True Blood, Russell recalled meeting Jesus Christ and described him as a hippie that reeked of patchouli.

Well, at least he knew how to put on some clothes.

While "Sunset" revealed with some hints as to what we can expect in the finale, I found myself growing tired of Lilith's lack of modesty and any semblance of fashion sense. Maybe it's the whole afterbirth look, or the grizzled snatch patch she continues to sport. Forget about drinking her, she needs to ask Bill to "clean me, clean all of me."

Sookie and Jason Stackhouse

If Lilith appearing before multiple Authority members had some confused, Pam did well to clear up a good part of what has been going on. I thought the concept of a vampire nest seemed to make a lot of sense given the behavior we have seen Bill and the others displaying. I also found myself wondering if Godric just might be the one behind the various Lilith visions in hopes of saving his progenies by turning the other lost sheep against one another.

While Bill has obviously lost it, I did like his increasingly smug behavior this week. He loves to drop the "I have other matters I must attend to" line, doesn't he? It's like he's politely saying piss off. Must be nice to wield all that power.

Elsewhere, The Authority certainly doesn't seem to be feeling the recession, huh? What with Bill ordering Jessica to take the helicopter to Jason and Salome telling Eric and Nora to jump on the AVL jet. 

Loved seeing those two make up, make out and then some. Nora begged Eric to forgive her and I'm pretty sure as he zoomed off screen to put the thunder hips to her she was feeling pretty absolved. Eric came and went and of course just missed Pam arriving as Rosalyn's prisoner. Sam and Pam crossing paths in the hallway was perhaps my favorite moment of the episode. I have enjoyed the various story lines this season, but seeing all these characters bumping into each other countered those who have felt like the show has gone in too many directions.

With so much still unresolved, I felt like the lack of closure was a distraction, but I was still able to enjoy amazing scenes, such as all of Eric's amazing additions to the best True Blood quotes of the season, the Elder's game of "for or against" and Pam back in top form sassing Jessica at Fangtasia.

So if some of you found yourselves frustrated at times like I did, just focus on those moments, and if that is not enough you can always go back and watch a shirtless Alcide digging in the dirt. I was glad to see him and his dad put aside their issues to whoop up on those baby vampires. 

So... with just the finale left to sink our teeth into, I have come to a few conclusions.

  • I think Warlow is Bill. My feeling was bolstered by Sookie referencing how the air monster she saw told her "you are mine," just like Bill used to tell anyone who so much as looked in Sookie's direction.
  • I don't think Andy will be doing the "You are not the father" dance from the Maury Povich show anytime soon, but I do think he and Holly will end up together.
  • Tara will come to Pam's rescue with the help of Jessica and Jason and, while the latter won't get Russell. I do think he will take out his man-fan Steve.
  • Eric and Nora enlist the government's help and we will get to see some of those new toys the general boasted, in action. 

With so much still unanswered I felt like I had to stick my neck out here and make some guesses as to how this season will wrap up. Please weigh in with your thoughts and predictions as well. 

One last thought, though. Did anyone else find it hilarious that Arlene actually was worried about Terry getting her in trouble for kissing her while at work? At Merlotte's? Really? I think you're safe, Mrs. Bellefleur. 


Editor Rating: 3.8 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 4.4 / 5.0 (87 Votes)
Avatar are correct that Bill is definitely too young to be Warlow...something is telling me that we havent seen his character yet...
Roman wasn't really drinking the Lilith blood...and the "nesting" took place because they were all living together and constantly drinking vamp blood. I take it to be similar to "mad cow disease"...if you "eat" your own kind, you will eventually go least IMO....I think Bill was shocked when he saw Lilith and felt more resolute when he looked back and saw that bloody handprint. After he became more convinced that he was in fact "the chosen one" he went back to the vial and saw Kibwe there and that's when he killed him. I think in the finale he will be battling with Salome as to who is really the chosen one.
I think that once Nora stopped drinking the blood, Eric was finally able to reach her and pull her out of craziness...


Not everyone is interested in shirtless Alcide, he leaves me cold.


Another wasted hour of True Blood.Don't get me wrong, I love the show but this season has been the worst by far.Pointless storylines, wasted time on secondary characters and a Sookie Stackhouse in a guest star role.There have been some great moments, mainly between Bill and Eric as well as Pam and Tara.However everything in this season has been toned down.The blood,the violence,the nudity and the sex scenes. It's as if this year,with Anna Paquin's pregnancy,the writers decided to take things easy and give her time to return next year in top form.


I love everything going on now, but the wrap up in one episode is either going to be lame or just enough to leave us salivating for more. I pray for the latter of course. As far as Bill being Warlow,that would be stupid,and leaves a huge timeline error that a 2 year old could see. I am guessing Roman is Warlow, if the scuttlebutt is true about us having seen him before. I get very confused as to how Roman remained true to AVL mainstreaming if he was drinking Lillith's blood all that time, when it affected everyone much different. Russell was even intoxicated with her for a bit, but then he is a mad hatter so his going off the deep end is reasonable. I remember atleast 3 people saying that Sookie is theirs, Bill, Eric & Russell. If Bill believes he is the chosen why didn't he drink the blood, why did he fight it? Something is not adding up...How was Nora changed so easily, she seemed the most enraptured, but I like it. Why were the others being visited by Lillith....hmmm I thought the elder bit was funny then annoying, but I can see how her age led to her weakness and being on several different planes at once she was easily vulnerable to Russell's strength. However, if Sookie is Warlow's then I think he will be making an appearance to stop Russell and help save the fairies. I did pick up on the Elder saying, we the fairies of Bon Temps, which leads me to believe there are more fairy realms in the area...Wish I could have fairy blood so I could slut myself out to


Warlow cannot be Bill, not from the contract that was signed by the Fae and Sookie's ancestor more than 300 years ago, that was before Bill was 'turned.' He'd still be with Sookie if that were the case but he is way too power hungry to stay with her, or care anymore. I'm sure what another poster said above must be true, he is a mystery but a very dark character but how to introduce him when everything else has gone to shit? Russell's back but it's like ok wow he's crazy and the Authority couldn't care less where he goes. Bill is a prick now and Eric is the sweet one? Who would have thought that? The sex scenes are getting old, too abrupt, no passion. And that Lilith, ugh seriously, put some clothes on the bitch or have her do some womanscaping and trim that patch up girl, and get the blood off her. Don't see how it could be Godric it's just that vial of Lilith blood is pretty effed up and makes them hallucinate and turn on one another. They better not kill off Jason. Honestly I don't see where they can go with Jessica, she seems to have run her course. Jason doesn't really want her anymore and Hoyt's gone for good. I love Pam and Tara but get rid of Steve Newlin, he's as annoying as Ryan Seacrest. Hope Sam and team get out of the AVL seen enough of that girl's tiny titties. Not a very good season really. Writing is all over the place and jumps around too much and less and less focus on Sookie, isn't that who the novels are based on? More Sookie please, less crazy ass Bill.


This season is so weird. I hate that Bill has gone nuts. I will be so glad when they're done with the "Authority". At first I thought Bill was going to turn out to be Warlow, but then I realized he isn't old enough. I never thought I'd miss seeing Bill/Eric fight over Sookie, but I'd rather see that. @ Sara I agree, This season really "sucks".


I'm very disappointed in this entire season. I think it has to do with the fact that it has split from the books entirely. I want to see Sookie and Eric together and they have been apart for practically every episode. Also, who knows if Warlow is even a vampire, he may be fey or some other creature. I believe he is already in Sookie's life. If he isn't, then he doesn't know about her yet. Otherwise, he would have come to claim her by now.


did anyone notice how pregnant anna looked in this episode? like they kept avoiding her stomach


I bet Warlow is part of the darker Fae world. There is a hierarchy in the fae world. Russell is on the loose now, it made me mad that sookie didnt dust him. They all sat there watching, and yes totally agree that an elder fae died in less than 30 sec is totally lame. Warlow can also be a character from the book called Callestades..who organially gave Sookie her telepathic powers. He watches over the books. I hope that he is introduced. Along with Quinn. I can see Russell being taken out by Erik. And all is put right again..Bill could remain with the authority, and begins work on the vampire data base. All to come in the next season episodes..Alcide will become new packmaster next season..thus the introduction of Quinn. Erik will be too busy rebuilding Fangtasia and introduced with some possibly more responsiblity..Sookie will struggle learning about the Fae and hope they start introducing new "house mates". Besides Alcide becoming new pack master, we see more members go after sookie..for other reasons that i hope will be explained. That is just some of how i see the next season should be..but who knows..


Wellexcusemyexpression. But it totally sucked. Bill use to be so nice. But now he just plain evil. Eric is the nice one now.. pam got arrested and sookie and the faires are surrounded by russel. Everything is going to hell in a handbasket ):


True Blood Season 5 Episode 11 Quotes

Bill: Roman is no longer with us.
General: How?
Eric: He couldn't get with the program so he had to go.

Jason: You gonna be ok?
Sookie: Kind of strange to find out you were sold to a vampire 300 years ago.

True Blood Season 5 Episode 11 Music

  Song Artist
Song Introitus Requiem Crucial Music Corporation
Song Cars, Bars, and Guitars The Go Getters
Gayle lynn rodeo queen Rodeo Queen Gayle Lynn iTunes