@ Birdie: If you want to stop arguing, just say so. As for me, I refuse to believe in the concept of "agreeing to disagree" on subjects such as this, because that implies both sides of the argument are equal. Contrary to popular belief, not every opinion is valid, and there is a right and wrong. Calling a woman a whore for having consensual (and now confirmed monogamous) sex with someone she knows and likes is wrong. Under any circumstances.
"As a woman I found that term highly offensive whether it is used to describe a fictional character or a real woman" well said @tap76
I think this is the point where we agree to disagree....
@T Thank you. I think we are trying to get at the same point and you put it very straight forward. I normally don't comment on these comments, but as a woman I found that term highly offensive whether it is used to describe a fictional character or a real woman. This isn't the only place I've seen similar comments in regards to this storyline, and I'm really sad that people would resort to such language. It doesn't do anyone any good.
And again despite how messed up you think Zoe is or not she isn't sleeping around. It isn't an attention getting ploy. She is engaging in an monogamous sexual relationship with someone she has known for a year, grown close to, and is developing feelings for and Wade clearly has feelings for her as well. She wants to have sex with him because she likes it and him.
I get that this is a fictional character we are talking about. I still find some of the comments disturbing as a woman. I don't feel any woman whether real or fictional should be judged for choices she makes as an adult and has every right to make in how she deals with her sex life. Now we aren't talking about those who have emotional or mental issues. That is another story and they are seeking attention, but they still would not be whores. Under no circumstances is it ok to call a woman a whore. It is just a derogatory term used to shame a woman so that she fits into society's little box for her as the pure mom and wife. I thought we got out of that stereotype 50 years ago.
(In fact, this conversation clearly stopped being about Zoe a long time ago. Everyone knows that this relationship will be played for as much dramatic effect as possible and won't reflect every single real-life instance of such a relationship.) And finally and perhaps least importantly, none of it addresses the basic internet etiquette that refusing to acknowledge that using such language to describe a character on a forum is not only inaccurate, it's offensive.
Not to toot my own horn, but you're not the only one with real-life experience or knowledge, believe it or not. But you are the one letting your real-life experiences bias your opinions and drawing unfounded generalizations from those experiences.
None of that addresses, however, whether it's appropriate to call another woman a whore for having sex with someone. (What does that do for their self-worth, I wonder?) None of it addresses the misuse or misunderstanding of feminist arguments, making it that much harder for feminists everywhere to actually educate people on points such as institutionalized sexism and minimize the emotional and psychological issues that counselors, etc. have to deal with. None of that acknowledges that attitudes towards TV characters reflect and reinforce attitudes towards real individuals and hiding behind "this is all just cheesy, fictional fun" allows stereotypes and prejudices to continue. (In fact, this conversation clearly stopped being about Zoe a long time ago. Everyone knows that this relationship will be played for as much dramatic effect as possible and won't reflect every single real-life instance of such a relationship.)
I totally DISAGREE with Birdie/Juliehw. Zoey is not having sex with a stranger here...she and Wade have been flirting on and off since they met. Having sex with one man does not make her a whore. She was only trying to make Wade jealous (by dating the other guy)... she was not going to sleep with him. To each it's own, she's having sex before dating Wade SO WHAY. They're simply enjoying each others company. What's the harm in that?
Actually, I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I am fairly knowledgable when it come to this. I work as a counselor at a clinic for eating disorders but we also see a fair share of depression cases. While you might label feminism as this empowered ability to do whatever you want as a woman, in most cases this in not what the woman wants but what she thinks the man expects. It's not pretty but it is the truth. Are there some women out there who can handle it? Sure, but they are few and far between. Not to get too cheesy, because this is after all a tv show, but most of these women have similar issues to Zoe, abandonment issues or low self-esteem that cause them to undervalue their self-worth.
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Added: February 26, 2013
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