A lot can happen in a few hours on Modern Family. Leave it to a regular old "Yard Sale" for Phil to have a James Franco moment, Luke to manipulate people, Alex to fight and make up with her gay boyfriend, Cam and Mitchell to have seven fights and Gloria to realize she married her puppet.

I'm gonna kick off this review with the part about Gloria and her puppet because I laughed so hard at that realization I had to rewind it.

Jay was really cracking me up this week, even though he wasn't much crankier than usual. My favorite exchange was the one he had with the guy who was trying to haggle him about the ash tray:

Jay: You're wearing a $10K watch and you haggling over 15 cents?
Guy: You live in this place and you can't let that 15 cents go?
Jay: Fine 35.
Guy: Can you break a 50?
Jay: Get out. | permalink

Honestly. every exchange Jay had at the yard sale was awesome. It's totally true, people will haggle, try and get into your house, just all around piss you off during these events. And the nerve of that last guy not only to steal Jay's toaster but to insult the dog?!? Stella is not for sale, move it along!!! You all know how much I love that Frenchie. But there was truly no better moment than Jay walking out the front door during Gloria's puppet show in matching outfits with Uncle Grumpy.

It's true, Gloria married her puppet. I guess Gloria always had a thing for grumpy old men? 

To think that all it took to get Gloria to perform with Mr. Grumpy was a little manipulation by Luke is amazing. Forget the magic stuff, Luke's real talent lies in the way he can influence people. He needs a little work on his Columbian accent but overall it's not too shabby. One look at his father and we know where he gets his theatrical bone from.

Is it possible Phil did James Franco better than James Franco himself? What started out as Wild Hogs turned into 127 Hours when Phil tipped Jay's Harley over and caught his pants underneath it. If only he was wearing his shants! I'd probably watch a whole episode of Modern Family with Phil recording himself like he was in The Blair Witch Project. He is a one-man comedy show.

His other half wasn't too shabby tonight either. Claire knew her credibility to her teenage daughter was mediocre so she enlisted Cam and Mitchell to shed some light on Alex's boyfriend situation. Alex was quite sure in the season finale that Michael was gay, but suddenly she changed her mind? Maybe she's just lonely and trying to force a relationship that isn't. They're teenagers, they'll figure it out in time. Just like Cam will figure out how to keep the weight off so he won't have to buy anymore fat jeans.

I miss Haley and was glad we got a glimpse of her tonight. I was cracking up when she told Luke to move the camera slowly because she was still drunk. Typical.

How did this episode of Modern Family stack up? Check out the updated quotes section and sounds off!