Modern Family

Modern Family Quotes

Season 4 Episode 24: "Goodnight Gracie"

Jay: I'm down there for a funeral. It's such a sad event and I end up finding something that I thought was lost forever. This beautiful moment that meant so much to both of us, set against the backdrop of fighting commies. There's your movie.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cam: Why does drama keep following me everywhere I go? It just pops up out of nowhere.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jay: I was shipping off to Vietnam, you had the ass of a young Ann Margaret.
 • Rating: Unrated

Phil: When my dad is ready he gets to pick his own girlfriend, that's the big upside to your wife dying. Also not having to think before you speak.
 • Rating: Unrated

Manny: I love it here, manicured lawns, planned activities, early dinners, what more does a kid need?
 • Rating: Unrated

Mitchell: C'mon does Gloria really look like the kind of woman who would run a brothel? Yeah I better go with her.
 • Rating: Unrated

Alex: She said I was just like her.
Haley: Was she weirdly competitive
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 23: "Games People Play"

Claire: 10 days on the road with those kids? Winnebag-no.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cam: Jump, swim, now give me your best Beyonce.
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Cam: You know what we don't have in this family? Two supportive loving fathers.
Mitchell: I'm just saying she's five.
Cam: And you never let her forget it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Manny: What kind of man writes poetry on the computer?
Jay: You could've ended that sentence after poetry.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gloria: Oh so now it's snooping, wanting to know more about your family by looking through their personal things?
 • Rating: Unrated

Manny: I don't want my mom there. I'm exploring some darker themes I'm not sure she's read for. Poems like the umbilical noose, a jail called mom, Smother nature. She'll just find a way to make it all about her.
 • Rating: Unrated

Haley: Oh yeah she can wear whatever she wants after I've had it for six months.
Alex: Or I get it automatically if you buy anything that looks like it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Claire: Maybe I bring out the worst in them when there's no fun loving Phil around to neutralize my toxins.
 • Rating: Unrated

Phil [to Claire]: I know that tone. You're making a point.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gloria: He's a lying, scheming little sneak. That's my son.
Jay: Our son.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 22: "My Hero"

Claire: The way he looked at me, it was like I wore a tube top in church.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cam: Mitchell look around, your family is cheating on me with your ex boyfriend!
 • Rating: Unrated

Luke: You know, I've got problems of my own. I can't always be the lovable sidekick on the manny show. Did you even notice I'm binge eating?
 • Rating: Unrated

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