"I, Witness" had all the makings of being a fun Major Crimes episode, a frolicking good time.
Lloyd Gibbs had Provenza and Flynn at their witty best and when he turned out to be a potential murderer, things got even wackier.
But all that was blown out of the water when we learned that they were protecting the guy as a favor for DDA Rios. And she was being bitchy and accusatory when things went wrong. My theory that she and Sanchez might have had something extra we didn't know about went away when she called him Lopez... repeatedly. She can't even take the time to learn the names of the people she wants to push around.
Luckily, she was only mildly annoying after her initial entrance. That in itself was a shock. The last thing I want to say about her is that Sanchez is too intelligent to be attracted to someone like Rios and his wagging tail puppy dog act has to stop. It's completely against character and takes everything we learned about him in the past and squashes it like a bug.
The rest of the episode was like a bunch of amusing moments combined to make up one hour. It's difficult to imagine that there are really criminals out there that could be as entertaining as Lloyd because if there were, people would be jumping at the chance to go to jail just to hang out with guys like him. He had some great Major Crimes quotes to add to the evening, such as:
Okay, how dumb do you guys think I am? Nobody goes to prison for stealing beer. Not even really good beer. | permalink
That's territory usually left only to Flynn and Provenza, but Lloyd outdid them. It was good to finally get to the truth about why Flynn has been doing all the cleanses and jogging in place and all the crazy stuff he's been up to. He's been told he has high blood pressure. I loved Provenza's reaction to his decision to try the natural way to cure it:
Provenza: God sakes Flynn, I take 20 pills a day with three glasses of wine and look how healthy I am. Just go on the drug. | permalink
One of Flynn's calming nature habits, pulling at his earlobe, helped them both out when they met with another witness, Shampagne, a professional "conversationalist." Watching the two of them standing there, looking at her and pulling on their ears, was reason enough to be happy Major Crimes took over where The Closer left off.
In Rusty-world, there was a minor development in that he was hiding multiple threats from Sharon by covering up, trying to act like a normal teen in an attempt to escape witness protection. That was rather sad, as his friend Chris was obviously really into him, but he was so concerned about the state of his future he didn't even really see her as a girl. I hope for his sake that comes to a close quickly.
It wasn't a fantastic episode, but it was entertaining. What say you?
Carissa Pavlica is the managing editor and a staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.