Okay, I know I'm late with the Thanksgiving episode and I humbly apologize to all of you loving Gossip Girl fans!
However, it's time to dissect Gossip Girl season 1 episode 9, known affectionately as "Blair Waldorf Must Pie!"
So I guess it makes sense that Gossip Girl would want a day off on Thanksgiving, because it looks like the Humphrey family are the only people in that UES world who still cook their own Thanksgiving meal. Throw in some family drama and a little pigskin and Dan's day is totally booked!
Spliced with some flashbacks of Thanksgiving the year before, we get to acknowledge just how much the world has changed for this group of friends in the past 12 months. Blair's parents were still together, Nate and Blair loved each other, Serena and Dan didn't know each other, and the Humphrey parents were happily together.
Thanksgiving is Blair Waldorf's THING. It is her all-time favorite holiday the way Seth Cohen (her real life fiancee, squeal!) adored Chris-mukkah. I like to think that in a fan girl's universe Seth would charm Eleanor over turkey, and Blair would give in to the Sandy Cohen spirit while helping keep Kirsten Cohen away from the wine. Serena would be there too, stealing said wine and then getting herself into trouble before Ryan Atwood would rescue her. OMG can someone start writing this spin-off like now?!?
Well back in New York Blair is looking forward to reuniting with her dad. She and Serena are merrily folding napkins (like Dorota wouldn't redo them 5 minutes later) and Serena presses her for details about Chuck. When it comes out that Blair actually slept with Chuck, twice, Serena gasps because that was the natural reaction to hooking up with Chuck then. Blair unceremoniously kicks her out because she's Blair.
With nowhere to go, Serena gets Dan to invite them over for Thanksgiving dinner. Lily has no idea how to get out of this one without telling her kids she used to be Rufus Humphrey's groupie and first love. Rufus, Alison, and Lily come face to face and things are fine until Jenny comments that just like Lily's horse, Rufus wrote a song called Rosewood. Alison, who always thought it was about her own special scent, flips out and blows their cover. Not for nothing, but why would Rufus ever write a song about Lily's childhood horse?
Blair: If you think about it, it makes total sense that your mom was a groupie. I mean, only a woman that had completely satisfied her sexual appetite in her youth would ever marry your stepdads.
Serena: Blair, can we not talk about my mom's appetite?
Dan: No, or who satisfied her.
Serena: That's just...
Dan, Jenny, Eric, and Serena: Gross!
Awkwardness ensues, but Serena had rushed back to her BFF before it all went down. Despite Blair bitching her out mere hours ago, Blair's bulimia relapsed after she found out her dad wasn't coming and Serena ran to her rescue. We need it on record that Serena did her fair share of being a good friend over the years when she didn't need her own rescuing.
Elsewhere the Archibalds are competing for the Most Awkward Dinner award with an uncomfortable and very tense last minute dinner due to the Captain's indiscretions. The Captain overdoses and Anne is completely in denial. I think there was lack of blood flow to her brain from that hideous and stiff outfit that was buttoned up to her damn chin. Nate is the only one who can act like the adult and insists his dad needs help.
The day ended merrily as families made peace and tried to get in some last minute celebrating. But we all know that nothing in the Gossip Girl universe stays quiet for long. See you guys next time for the wild debutante ball in "Hi, Society!"