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Glee Review: Under Attack

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Previously on Glee... everyone important is in New York so don’t worry about the characters that are missing.

We open Glee Season 5 Episode 15 with a truly lovely version of No One Is Alone and I don’t think I will be able to snark this episode at all.

I wonder if the victim the vigil is being held for is a real person. I’m going to guess “yes," or else some poor actor’s biggest claim to fame will be “Used my headshot in the opening scene of Glee once."

Silent title card! Yep, this is not going to be a light-hearted episode.

Rachel needs time off from the show she is starring in for her Midwinter Critique at NYADA. Since even Awful Rachel understands that being in Funny Girl isn’t the break of a lifetime. Movies, girl. Get into movies. Or TV. I hear they pay pretty well.

Sam and Mercedes pretend to discuss their relationship and then make out. Isn’t Mercedes supposed to be a super-successful songwriter? Aren’t there any employed people she can make out with instead?

I’m relieved that the gay-bashing victim is alive. But I’ve also seen the preview for this episode so I realize this is not going to be the only attack.

Mercedes and Sam pretend to discuss their relationship some more and then Mercedes throws her fur coat in the river. Because THAT’S what all those poor minks died for - a woman to be really cold while they float in the East River.

You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman on the carousel is very cool, although, again, where are all the people gawking? That is not a deserted part of the city. I swear I'm going to NYC and stalking all the landmarks until I find Glee filming.

Mercedes, your friends are VERY SMART. Listen to them. They should also tell you not to wear that hat. But mostly listen to them about Sam.

Rachel is singing on a piano because of course she is. Right now Whoopi Goldberg is ruing the day she agreed to guest star. RUING IT. She fails Rachel and Blaine for doing a duet when the assignment was solo performances. That seems like a really, really stupid reason to fail.

And THEN Awful Rachel wants special treatment because she is SO SPECIAL she can’t possibly just...sing a freaking song sometime in the next week? She quits I have to take back everything I said above about her being smart. Sigh. GIRL.

Mercedes's friends play the race card and warn her the only people who will buy her album are albinos because she is dating a white guy. I mean, there are LOTS of reasons Sam is not a good match for her but I’m not sure “white” is the best one.

Or that it would stop people from buying an album she doesn't actually have out yet. As long as she's not dating Justin Bieber I think she's OK.

RACHEL, LISTEN TO KURT. You’re awful, Rachel. But your hair is looking really, really gorgeous this episode so it’s distracting me.

Kurt tries to break up an attack in an alley and gets beat up. It was extremely noble and heroic but also stupid. CALL THE POLICE. He is damn lucky no one shot him.

Everyone gathers at Kurt’s bedside to hear he is going to be OK. No one is awful. Blaine is so sad I want to give him a hug.

Of course seeing their friend in the hospital has caused some changes of heart. Mercedes sings Colour Blind (beautifully) to Sam to prove she isn’t not dating him because he’s white. They hug, which is inconclusive.

Kurt’s dad comes to yell at him because those guys could have had a gun WHICH IS WHAT I JUST SAID. This is what happens when you’re a parent, you suddenly agree with all the grown-ups on teen shows. This is my favorite scene of the episode so far. I would watch Kurt's dad on his own show (although I still can't think of him as anyone but Jimmy from Yes, Dear because I am old).

Kurt and Blaine go back to the makeshift memorial for the original attack victim. I thought when Blaine said “Are you sure you’re up for this?” they were going to look at mug shots or a sketch artist or something to try to catch the people who are doing the gay-bashing, but I guess putting flowers on the street is important too.

Wrap up scene: Rachel is still dropping out of college. Sam and Mercedes announce they are officially dating. Everyone is excited about Kurt’s Midwinter Critique, for which he sings another old-style cheesetastic Broadway song. I mean, he KILLS IT, because he is Kurt. But let’s be honest, no one is buying this on iTunes right now.

Next week on Glee: they’re going to sing Love Is A Battlefield and I am already way more excited about that than anything in this week’s episode.

Poll time: Do you think Sam and Mercedes are a good couple?

 

Review

Editor Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 3.2 / 5.0 (51 Votes)
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Agreed, Rachel has always been a prima Donna but she's gotten a lot worse since Funny Girl. Also, did she forget that she's at NYADA at all because she was given a second chance? Her original audition went horribly and Jesse (unbeknownst to Rachel$ had to talk Whoopi into giving her a second chance? Just because she got in first try doesn't mean that she can be an ungrateful snot.

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I ship samcedes

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i don't like this reviewer. Very sarcastic and doesn't seem like they like the show at all.

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@ sensi

Agreed.

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If you really want to sound old, you can sound like me... "I know Burt Hummel... from the old school Nick show Guts".

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I'm so dissappoint of All the haters. It sucks.

Chris-k

The review is hilarious ! I love the comment about Kurt killing the song but nobody buying it on iTunes :-D

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I noticed matthew morrison's name and jacob artist's in the operning credits,however they were not featured at all, are their names still on coz they're series regulars?

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First off the fur was FAKE. Which then makes me wonder whether you were paying any attention at all to the conversation. Obviously not.
I'm starting to dislike Rachel-total diva with overinflated ideas of what she is worth. She needs a reality check and she was damned lucky to get a second chance at the Winter Critique. I would have flunked her on the spot.
Whilst I'm not a Klaine shipper, they were adorably sad in places and Kurt's ordeal tugs at the heartstrings.I do find it weird that really there's been no mention of Finn even in passing.Not While I'm Around was different than I expected due to them having 4 people on it in the studio version BUT I found it really apt for a Blaine solo.
Sam and Mercedes were the best part of this episode even if it felt a little rushed.Her friends were silly and judgemental all around but this reflects RL accurately unfortunately.I'm glad that while she struggled she came to the right conclusion in the end.Needless to say Colorblind was amazing.

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It was actually uncomfortable to watch the dinner Mercedes had with Sam and her friends. I hate when they dumb down characters who weren't originally that stupid. Sam is not such an airhead!! That being said I agree there are legitimate reasons Sam wouldn't be a good match with Mercedes beyond race and I'm surprised her friends didn't speak about them (maybe not her true friends) I'm surprised Kurt's dad didn't mention Finn. If my son recentlyy died and another ended up in the hospital if be breaking down from the fear of losing him too. Also, is this a review or a summary?? A simple google search could tell you about the attack on the boy in NY.

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Last week's episode was really well written. This I'd give a C-. Glee at PSAs again. Rachel a prima donna.Sam an oaf as usual. The music is really good. Next week sounds a lot better. We'll see.

Glee Season 5 Episode 15 Quotes

It’s really hard to be a straight white male these days.

Sam

I just got a haircut also, in case anybody was wondering.

Sam

Glee Season 5 Episode 15 Music

  Song Artist
Glee-cast-colour-blind Colour Blind Glee Cast iTunes
Glee-cast-no-one-is-alone No One Is Alone Glee Cast iTunes
Glee-cast-im-still-here I'm Still Here Glee Cast iTunes
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