Margaret "Maggie" Simpson is Homer and Marge's youngest daughter and the baby on The Simpsons.  Do expect a lot of quotes from her on our site.

Maggie Simpson Quotes

(Grandpa explains the story of Herb's conception to Homer.)
Grandpa: It all happened when I was courting your mother.
(Flash back to a younger Grandpa at a carnival.)
Grandpa: (Narrating) I was checking out the skirts at the local carnival when I first saw her.
Woman: (To Grandpa) Hey, handsome, wanna dunk the clown?
Grandpa: (Narrating) She did things your mother would never do, like have sex for money. A year later, the carnival came back to town, and she had a little surprise for me.
(The woman shows Grandpa baby Herb.)
(Flash forward to present day.)
Grandpa: We left the baby at the Shelbyville Orphanage, and I never saw him again.
(Flash back to Grandpa at his wedding)
Grandpa: (Narrating) A year later, I married your mother, and we had you.
(Flash forward to Homer's mother after the delivery.)
Mother Simpson: Abe, I want Homer to grow up respecting his father. He must never know about that-that carnival incident.
Grandpa: Okay.
Mother Simpson: Promise you won't tell him.
Grandpa: I promise.
(Flash forward to present day.)
Grandpa: Whoops! Forget what I just told you.

Marge: Now we can blame him for everything!
Homer: It's your fault I'm bald.
Abe: It's your fault I'm old.
Maggie: It's your fault I can't talk!
Uncle Sam: It's your fault America has lost its way!
Everyone: It's all your fault! It's all your fault! It's all your fault!

The Simpsons Quotes

Lincoln, Lincoln. I've been thinkin'. What the hell have you've been drinkin'? Is it water? Is it wine? Oh, my gosh. It's turpentine!

Bart & Lisa

Officer Eddie: (reading Steve Sax's license) Well well, Steve Sax, from New York City.
Officer Lou: I heard some guy got killed in New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that now, would you, Steve?
(Lou and Eddie laugh)
Steve Sax: But there are hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.
Officer Lou: You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you, Saxxy Boy?