The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Mr. Lassen: We should team up, I can get you out of here
Sideshow Bob: A partner, intriguing, who gets to gut him like a little pot-bellied salmon?
Mr. Lassen: I assumed we'd take turns
SIdeshow Bob: No deal

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Superintendent Chalmers: According to this file from Blazing Guy's secret security, your behavior was so egregious we can do something that we've never done before - fire a teacher.
Principal Skinner: Hand in your red pen...oh, I'm not gonna pass fingernail inspection tonight.

Homer: A-camping we will go
Marge: But where I still don't know
Homer: A place that's filled with sun and sand, a desert steamed from Disneyland, keep expectations low.

Oh Marge I can't stand it when you cry at dinner. The pork chops look traumatized, the mashed potatoes can't stand to watch, even the children seem upset.

Homer

Superintendent Chalmers: Seymour, your new teacher is...everybody pray!
Principal Skinner: This is a public school
Superintendent Chalmers: I said pray!

Wow its working! I guess the instructions were in English

Fry

Attention goblins, Madison Cube Garden is filled with Butterfinger bars and people are laying fingers all over them

Lisa

Bender: My ass is about to project something
Homer: You don't have to announce it, just do it quietly and blame the dog

Lisa: You know, they look a little similar
Bart: Yeah, like the guy who designed Bender just took a drawing of dad and stuck an antenna on it
Lisa: A little lazy if you ask me

Don't drink my loved ones

Homer

Remember when this country didn't suck? Cuz I don't.

Bart

You always do the right thing...sort of.

Marge
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 3428 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!