The Simpsons

The Simpsons Quotes

Season 24 Episode 20: "The Fabulous Faker Boy"

Milhouse: Did you ever wonder if hippopotamuses think that rhinos are unicorns?
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: My head hairs! I'm bald!
 • Rating: Unrated

Moe: There's sexy bald like..uh...Babar, king of the elephants. I read his books as a kid. He married his cousin Celeste. That was my takeaway.
 • Rating: Unrated

Martin: Let me go. I have a swim lesson with a gorgeous lifeguard.
Dolph: What gender?
Martin: You're not allowed to ask.
 • Rating: Unrated

Carl: Why don't we talk about it over at Moe's?
Homer: It's not even noon.
Carl: Yeah, I got a watch, egghead.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 24 Episode 18: "Pulpit Friction"

Homer: Well, I'm not one for taking new jobs on a whim. But as we say in the snow plow business, I'm your astronaut.
 • Rating: Unrated

Helen: Why won't someone blame the children?
 • Rating: Unrated

Moe: Bring out your beds. Bring out your beds.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Boy, why are your friends so dirty?
Bart: Dunno. Why are your friends such drunks?
Homer: Touche.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Hehehe, the brain is so stupid.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 24 Episode 17: "What Animated Women Want"

Homer: Listen, we swore we'd never go to sleep angry at each other.
Marge: I'm not going to sleep.
Homer: Well you didn't have two beers with your lunch.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Marge, I thought this was an innocuous lunch, but it's become terribly ocuous.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: The most romantic part of this was the hold music when I made the reservation.
 • Rating: Unrated

Waiter: I hope you are enjoying your sushi.
Marge: It's as yummy as your poorly produced local commercial says.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 24 Episode 16: "Dark Night Court"

Burns: How much for your entire collection?
Comic Book Guy: Um, the speed of light expressed in dollars.
Burns (to Smithers): Just give him Faraday's constant.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Martin: Who could have shoved eggs up our brass?
 • Rating: Unrated

Cletus: Egg don't belong in a chicken's eye. It belongs in her pee-poo-birth-hole.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lisa: Bart must not be judged by these kids. But by a jury...of kids, mostly these kids...there's only so many kids.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: Pass the gravy, Gloria All-Wrong.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 24 Episode 15: "Black Eyed, Please"

Hibbert:You may never see a film in 3D again. Hehehe.
Homer: But the storytelling is finally catching up to the technology.
 • Rating: Unrated

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