The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

Homer: What I feel is envy.
Lisa: Wow! He's right.

Bart: What's a game show?
Homer: Something you make sketches about.

I want his fame and fortune so much. Why must the lords of rock be so cruel?

Homer

Oh, what kind of erotic asphyxia?

Homer

Yep, it's all about the music and it would take a pretty unforeseen circumstance to make that change. Pretty unforeseen.

Homer

This is embarrassing to admit, but I haven't even thought about gels.

Homer

I don't have what it takes to play the guitar.

Homer

Oh no, King Toots is closed. Dad, you're going to have to take me to the big Fox music store.

Lisa

You call that a left testicle, Toot?

Mo

Mr. Lassen: We should team up, I can get you out of here
Sideshow Bob: A partner, intriguing, who gets to gut him like a little pot-bellied salmon?
Mr. Lassen: I assumed we'd take turns
SIdeshow Bob: No deal

  • Permalink:
  • Added:

Superintendent Chalmers: According to this file from Blazing Guy's secret security, your behavior was so egregious we can do something that we've never done before - fire a teacher.
Principal Skinner: Hand in your red pen...oh, I'm not gonna pass fingernail inspection tonight.

Homer: A-camping we will go
Marge: But where I still don't know
Homer: A place that's filled with sun and sand, a desert steamed from Disneyland, keep expectations low.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 3437 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!