The Simpsons

The Simpsons Quotes

Season 23 Episode 21: "Ned 'N' Edna's Blend"

Ned: Well sir, now we'll have an open marriage.
Edna: Um, you do know what that means?
Ned: No, but I"m sure Newt Gingrich wouldn't steer us wrong.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Hmmm...historically inaccurate.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: People here do not respect boundaries.
Ned: Homer, did you just buckle your belt through my loop?
 • Rating: Unrated

Sea Captain: I'm married to the sea, and I'm seeing two of the great lakes on the side. I won't say which ones but it's ERIE how SUPERIOR they are.
 • Rating: Unrated

Moe: And that's that. Another story in the classic infallible three-act structure. Good enough for Aristotle, good enough for The Simpsons.
Lisa: Mr. Szyslak I have feeling there's going to be one more act to this story.
Moe: Well I'm not hanging around for that. Pfftt. Four acts.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 23 Episode 20: "The Spy Who Learned Me"

Homer: Cleatus the football robot, you're my only hope.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Homer: And now because it's after noon, I can go to Moe's without having a "drinking problem."
Moe: Hey Homer, I could hear your pathetic rationalizing through the door.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: This date night was even worse than the date night we saw Date Night.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: Homer, I'm a single mother, trying to raise a family here.
Homer: But you're not-
Marge: Just zip it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lenny: Trouble in paradise?
Homer: No, my marriage.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Now that's what I call a snappy retort.
Marge: Stop saying what you call things! I'm trying to watch the movie.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 23 Episode 19: "A Totally Fun Thing Bart Will Never Do Again"

Homer: Choke on my numb blue hands.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: But where does the ship stop again?
Homer: I don't know. A lot of barefoot kids kicking soccer balls, shell necklaces, they really hit the poverty nicely.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lisa: It's so diverse. I've died and gone to a PBS kid's show.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Bart's been raptured and his crap's been craptured.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 23 Episode 18: "Beware My Cheating Bart"

Jimbo: If I wrote down everything you told me to write down, I'd have no time for punching.
Dolph: Whoa, you should write that down, man.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marge: This is the stupidest fight ever!
Homer: We've had stupider!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Now to save on calories, I won't eat the paper in the fortune cookie.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Homer: Now I'm going to visit the only court I can never be in contempt to of - food court.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 23 Episode 17: "Them, Robot"

Milhouse: My heart makes up for my shortcomings, like Rudy!
Robot: Rudy was only put in at the end of a meaningless game. We will notify you if this game becomes meaningless.
 • Rating: Unrated

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