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The-simpsons

Come back, I'm a clown. I can't afford to look ridiculous.

Krusty

Homer: Marge, did you replace our regular mirror with a magical mirror from a mystical salesman at a weird store that if we went back to find it it wouldn't be there anymore?
Marge: No
Homer: AAAAHHH!!

Homer: Marge, who would give up eating steak in the matrix to go slurp goo in Zion?
Marge: We don't have that movie here.

Oh, they're so cute when they're Duplo.

Homer (on Maggie)

It's not selling out. It's co-branding. Co-branding!

Homer

Oh, why are you doing this to me booze, I drank every kind of you.

Homer

Lenny: Why do they call this a yard of ale?
Carl: Easy, after you drink it, you're passed out in a yard.

Do you know how embarrassed I was to get a call at my arraignment for my behavior during the pub crawl because of a voodoo curse my son placed on his art teacher?

Homer

A minute of fun a lifetime of work. I've never heard of a pregnancy like this.

Bart
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