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The-simpsons

"Quagmire who? That's an excellent question."

Homer

"My dad gave me a gun to hide."

Meg

"No one ever told me I mattered before."

Meg

"You bring home two bands of hippie murderers…"

Homer

How can they say I'm past my prime? Me, the voice of Ovaltine.

Krusty

Bart: I want you to binge watch all the shows you've ever done.
Krusty: I've never said no to a binge.

Rabbi Krustofski: What did the burning bush say?
Krusty: It said ow! Put me out! How many talking bushes do you think there are?

No one told me this roast would treat me the same way as every roast I've ever seen and laughed at.

Krusty

Come back, I'm a clown. I can't afford to look ridiculous.

Krusty

Homer: Marge, did you replace our regular mirror with a magical mirror from a mystical salesman at a weird store that if we went back to find it it wouldn't be there anymore?
Marge: No
Homer: AAAAHHH!!

Homer: Marge, who would give up eating steak in the matrix to go slurp goo in Zion?
Marge: We don't have that movie here.

Oh, they're so cute when they're Duplo.

Homer (on Maggie)
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 3399 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

MARGE! Where are you? Did you change your name? Is it Kelly? KELLY!

Homer

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

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