The Simpsons

The Simpsons Quotes

Episode 12: "Moe Goes from Rags to Riches"

Bart: From now on I'll dominate you in ways you don't realize.
 • Rating: Unrated

Comic Book Guy: Worst climbing Everest.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: I dump on you, and you take it. That's how friendship works.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Marguerite, I leave to fight in Flanders. Stupid Flanders.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Episode 11: "The D'oh-cial Network"

Grampa: And I created an alcoholic hippo.
Homer: You never showed it to me!
Grampa: A stupid alcoholic hippo!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mapple Salesperson: The lightest, most desirable computer in the world, for the next three weeks - the Mapple Void.
Homer: I'll take it, provided you charge me for services that Google offers for free.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lisa: I have a thousand friends! And only eight of them are Milhouse!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Man, this website makes talking drunk to my wife so much safer.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lenny: Uh-oh. Denise Hibbert keeps liking Bumblebee Man's posts. That's how it starts.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Episode 10: "Politically Inept, With Homer Simpson"

Lenny: When a guy who loves america cries, it makes him super straight.
 • Rating: Unrated

Apu: The hot dogs spin counter clockwise in fear when you arrive.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: They know I'm doing a character. Like Stephen Colbert or Newt Gingrich.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Homer: Do you really need all these Kurt Vonnegut novels?
Lisa: "They self-reference each other!"
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 9: "Holidays of Future Passed"

Bart: I've been acting like a 10 year old the last 30 years, but I swear i'm going to grow up and act 20 like a divorced 40 year old should.
 • Rating: Unrated

My daughter thinks I'm a ruthless tyrant like Hitler or Prince Harry.
Homer: Bloody harry. he brought back beheading in a big way.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lisa: Sometimes i wish strangling your kid was still legal.
Marge: Not since they passed Homer's Law.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: I just like to dress up to eat carrots and smoke.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: How would you like to have future sex?
Marge: Why do you say future this is now?
Homer: I meant a week from tomorrow. That's when the new penis gets here.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lisa: You can always go back to Michigan. They're still under Sharia law.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: Who cares what we look like in whatever stupid year this is.
 • Rating: Unrated

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