Susie Greene (played by Susie Essman) is Jeff Greene's wife on HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Her relationship with Jeff is mercurial, leading to numerous separations in the course of the show.

She often reacts to Jeff and Larry's shenanigans with angry, profane tirades. Funny profane tirades.

She shows more affection to her dog, Oscar, and her daughter, Sammie, than her husband on his friends.

Susie Greene Quotes

Stop scratching your balls and tell me where it is! Alright, just get me the fucking head, alright?! Get me the fucking head, alright!? Both of you, I've had it! You four-eyed fuck and you fat piece of shit, get me the head!


Susie: [Jeff] thinks I don't know about his porn stash! Take all this crap, he's gonna need it alone in the hotel!
Larry: He actually told me he doesn't want any of this stuff.
Susie: "Freak That Booty", "Big Ass Momma", all his favorites. Think I don't know about this crap?
[Larry looks at the cover of "Big Ass Momma"]
Susie: Oh, you're into this shit, too? You're into that kinky Big Ass Momma crap?
Larry: No! Are you crazy?
Susie: I thought you were a family man!
Larry: No, I thought I recognized that woman from the back

Curb Your Enthusiasm Quotes

Larry: "Bald asshole?" That's a hate crime. We consider ourselves to be a group.
Police Officer: I'm bald and I'm not offended.
Larry: With all due respect, Officer Berg, you are not bald. You've chosen to shave your hair and that's a look you're cultivating in order to look fashionable, but we don't really consider you part of the bald community... with all due respect

Larry: Who do you think has more freedom: the married man in America or the single man in Communist China?