Brian: Hey, Stewie, we got a postcard from Peter and Lois on the cruise. (Stewie gets out of the simulation chair) What are you doing? Stewie: Oh, hello, Brian. Well, you recall my complaining about Lois and the Fat Man not taking me with them? Brian: Yeah? Stewie: Yes, well, you said I didn't have it in me to kill Lois, so I was just running a simulation to find out exactly how killing her and taking over the world would play out for me. Brian: Yeah? How'd that go? Stewie: Not well, Brian. Not well. I suppose I'm not ready to kill Lois or take over the world yet. Brian: So, what you're saying is that what you experienced in the simulation didn't really happen, or even matter? Stewie: Yes, that's correct. Brian: So, it was sort of like a dream? Stewie: No, it was a simulation. Brian: Yes, but, theoretically, if someone watched the events of that simulation from start to finish, only to find out that none of it really happened, I mean you don't think, that would, j-- be just like a giant middle finger to them? Stewie: Well, hopefully, they would have enjoyed the ride. Brian: I don't know, man. I think you'd piss a lot of people off that way. (Brian leaves) Stewie: Well, at least it didn't end like The Sopranos, where it just cut to black in mid-sen-- (the screen goes black like Stewie described)
"Little List" Lyrics Stewie: As someday it may happen that a victim must be found, I've got a little list, I've got a little list. Of society offenders who might well be underground, And who never would be missed, who never would be missed. There's the white kid with the baggy clothes who's talking like hes black, The girl you date who doesn't get the jokes in Caddyshack. The Asian guy who cuts in front of every single line, And Britney Spears for accidentally showing her va-gine. And Bill 'O Reilly's ineffective dermatologist, May none of them be missed, may none of them be missed! Social Security Guards: He's got them on the list, He's got them on the list. And may none of them be missed, May none of them be missed. Stewie: There's the guy behind the news reporter waving like a fool, And senator Bill Frist, I've got him on the list. And the fat kid smiling warmly while hes peeing in the pool, He never would be missed, he never would be missed! There's the foul smelling boy who comes to school in camouflage, And every bleeding member of the cast of Entourage. And while we are on the subject, HBO deserves a whack, For ending the Sopranos with a f***ing cut to black. And guys who when you shake there hand just bump you with there fist, I don't think they'd be missed, I'm sure they'd not be missed! Social Security Guards: He's got them on the list, He's got them on the list, And may none of them be missed. May none of them be missed. Stewie: There's the guy who sits beside you and keeps farting on the plane, And Shakira's lyricist, I've got him on the list. And the smarty on thanks giving who says its the "trip to fame," He never would be missed, he never would be missed! There's the blonde who tells you loudly with a voice just like a knife, "You know someone should do a sitcom based around my life!" The guy who watched The Simpsons back in 1994, And wont admit the damn thing isn't funny anymore. And a-ny-one and everyone who's ever... made me... pissed! Social Security Guards:(Made me pissed, made me pissed, made me really really pissed!) Stewie: I've got them on the list, May none... of them... be... missed! Social Security Guards: He's got them on the list, He's got them on the list, And may none of them be missed. Stewie: May none... of them... be... missed! Solo Guard: None of them be missed.