Family Guy

Family Guy Quotes

Episode 12: "Livin' On A Prayer"

We now return to Dracula...in San Francisco
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Blasphemy! Heresy! Sodomy!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tricia Takanawa: "Also arriving is my overprotective boyfriend, who is suspicious when I'm called into work late at night, even though I've been a reporter for years, Tyrone."
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: "Hey Lois, that not-Stewie kid fell over."
 • Rating: Unrated

Lois: "Look at them, they're getting along like Billy Bob Thornton and his cat!"
 • Rating: Unrated

Stewie: "Kevin Smith because he's too fat to ride on the plane!"
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Episode 11: "The Blind Side"

Stewie: "1,2,3,4 I'm dancing from my vagina.
1,2,3,4 I'm grinding, I'm grinding
Orgasm-eyes, Orgasm-eyes, and we're done."
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Eric: "Hi! I'm a nude vampire."
Alcide: "Hi! I'm a nude werewolf."
Sookie: "And that's the show!"
Lois: "Peter, come down! That gay show you like is on."
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stewie: "Batman, Batman, they built a lazy susan for your nuclear car. That's something they consider conversation-worthy."
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stewie: "Hey anything is possible right? I once found the Batcave."
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stewie: "Brian, if I take up roller derby what od you think my name should be? Bruisin' B. Anthony, Alicia Sleaze, or Quo Hag?"
Brian: "How about Harlot O'Scara?"
Stewie: "You d**k, that's awesome."
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Disabled Girl: "Mine are made from teak, what are yours made from?"
Pirate: "Mine are just press board with wood veneer, I can't get wet."
Disabled Girl: "Oh...I think I see my friends."
 • Rating: Unrated

Japanese Guy #1: "Hey you want to go watch a movie?"
Japanese Guy #2: "Nah we're Japanese...let's go watch a schoolgirl bang an octopus!"
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Episode 10: "Meg and Quagmire"

Peter: "I was 18 and my body was firm from push-ups and sit-ups..."
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Peter: "I'M Back Bush?"
Quagmire: "This can't be a surprise to you, Peter."
Peter: "Yea, I knew, I just didn't know you knew!"
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Peter: "I'm not afraid to stand up to friends. Just ask Spartacus!"
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Peter: "You don't now how smooth Quagmire is...he's like a vagician!"
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Teen Choice Awards Announcer: "Now your host: Lady Hair Douche-ton!"
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 9: "Grumpy Old Man"

Peter: "And tell the African-American elevator employee that he can stop wearing gloves."
Carter: "Why don't you just tell him that he can sleep with my wife too!"
 • Rating: Unrated

Sex Offender: "Don't care. No time for FB, it's all about SO."
 • Rating: Unrated

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