Family Guy

Poor Meg has been the butt of Family Guy jokes for eight seasons now and she finally got her chance to get her revenge on her family and fellow students in last night's "Dial Meg for Murder."  So how did the half hour of Meg going postal end up?

Well unfortunately, the episode was a little too offensive and horrible, even for an episode of Family Guy.  While we've come to accept the show's attempts to further and further push the envelope, did we really need to see a baby get punched and a grown man anally raped... by two different people?  One of which was his own daughter!?

For those of you with thicker skin to child abuse and rape, the episode had plenty of laughs and was definitely fun for anyone annoyed by Meg's treatment.  Who wasn't smiling when she slowly loaded a bag with soda cans, knowing full well what she was going to do.

The episode also guest starred Chace Crawford as he painfully attempted to voice Luke.  Apparently this guy needs to stick to Gossip Girl, because this stud has a face for television, not a voice for radio.  Luckily, Luke only had two scenes and our favorite character Consuela saved the first and the handicapable jokes at Joe's expense saved the second.

Our final complaint about the episode is the use of realistic photos.  When this bit was first introduced by South Park it was hilarious.  When Family Guy occasionally uses it, it's still funny.  However, using two real life photos in one episode?  Time to fire some of those manatees.

Who are we kidding?  We know you guys loved the episode and come here for our Family Guy quotes and not the review.  They're after the jump.

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Gossip Girl's ridiculously good-looking Chace Crawford will be lending his sexy voice to Family Guy this upcoming Sunday as Luke, Meg's jailbird of a boyfriend.

In the episode, "Dial Meg for Murder," Meg will help break Luke out of jail and attempt to hide her boyfriend in the Griffins' home.  Unfortunately, the police soon bust Meg and she gets sent to the big house herself.

When Meg returns from the big house, she returns a hardened criminal.  We have more pictures of a tattooed, gun-wielding Meg and her convict boyfriend below.

Yeah, that's right.  After eight seasons of pretty bizarre plotlines, Family Guy completely ran out of storylines and decided to do an amnesia episode, "Big Man on Hippocampus."

While plot lines have never been a strong point for the mantee tank that comes up with cutaway gags for Family Guy, at least they normally don't resort to such a cliche.  Unfortunately, in this episode they did.

When Seth McFarlane and crew tackled amneisa, they decided to take away Peter's memory of making love... ever, driving, and telephones.  Apparently Peter's amnesia took away everything but his ability to talk.

Luckily, the episode still had plenty of great jokes including plenty of ripping on Meg, some amazing Family Feud answers, a bold Adult Swim advertisement (was that part of the episode), and a hilarious cutaway to Dwayne Johnson simulating sex between Lois and Peter using dolls.

For an episode with plenty of laughs and a witty title, we're still going to give the episode a B- for its unbelievably horrible plot line.  Now for our favorite Family Guy quotes from the half hour:

Stewie [watching Lawrence of Arabia]: Who's that rather attractive woman on a camel?
Brian: That's Peter O'Toole.
Peter: You movie buffs might likes this, both of his names are slang for penis. | permalink

Richard Dawson: Name something you sit in.
Lois: A chair.
Stewie: My own feces.
Richard Dawson: Name a popular fruit.
Lois: Orange.
Stewie: Clay Aiken.
Richard Dawson: Something in your closet.
Lois: Shoes.
Stewie: A scary monster.
Richard Dawson: Your favorite holiday.
Lois: Christmas.
Stewie: 911.
Richard Dawson: Name something you do on the weekend.
Lois: Go to church.
Stewie: Black guys. | permalink

Peter [on Family Feud answering something you'd like to receive as a gift]: Well my whole family agreed on money, so I'm going to go with the flute that Captain Picard played, first in his imagination and then in real life, in the episode "The Inner Light" from Star Trek: The Next Generation. | permalink

Brian: What the hell is all this?
Peter: Well I'm a bachelor so now I invited a bunch of people over and now I'm waiting for them to leave. That's what bachelors do. | permalink

In this week's Family Guy, Peter assumed control of Pewterschmidt Industries when Carter suffered from a heart attack-induced coma... caused by a belated bachelor party that Peter threw for him.

"Business Guy" certainly had its share of laughs, but our biggest issue was with a major plothole in the story line.  Why would Carter not have resumed power at the company once he recovered from the coma? 

Would his lawyer have been that terrible to have written a will that gave up power when he was in a coma permanently?  For a multi-billionaire, I'd think he could hire better people.  Anyways, plot has  never really been Family Guy's strong point.

Overall, the episode was decent with only a few cutaways that failed.  Some of our favorite jokes from the episode...

• Dr. House's appearance actually worked and we loved hm throwing the book of rules out the window.
• By the same token, it was fun to see our favorite sitcom, The Big Bang Theory being made fun of.
• We're pretty sure they've used the Scooby Doo bit before, but we loved it just the same.
• Loved the meta joke about Lacey Chabert being fired as the voice of Meg.
• Oh and the Billy Joel line, "Heart attack, ack, ack,.  You oughtta know by now."  Amazing.

Now for our favorite Family Guy quotes from the episode:

Peter: It sure was nice for you to invite us out on your yacht, mr Pewterschmidt.
Carter: It's not a boat, it's a yacht. Oh sorry, I thought you said boat. | permalink

Lois: Is my father going to be okay, Dr. House?
Dr. House: He's in a coma, Mrs. Griffin. Listening to the sound of your voice, I'd say he's the lucky one. | permalink

Peter: Keep it up Lois and I might fire you.
Lois: You wouldn't.
Peter: Does the name, Lacey Chabert mean anything to you?
Lois: Okay, I'll behave.
Peter: Yes, you will. | permalink

After being anceled in 2003, Family Guy was  luckily able to come back after strong DVD sales for a fourth season.  With a lot riding on the season, Seth MacFarlane and company did not disappoint and are of course still on the air.

Season four was the longest in the show's history with the 27 originally airing and the straight-to-DVD release of Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story later airing as part of the fourth season.

We've put together the largest collection of Family Guy quotes from the season.  Here are just some of our favorites:

Peter: Everybody, I got bad news - we've been cancelled.
Lois: Oh, no. Peter, how can they do that?
Peter: Well, unfortunately, Lois, there's just no more room on the schedule. We just gotta accept the fact that Fox has to make room for terrific shows like: Dark Angel, Titus, Undeclared, Action, That 80's Show, Wonderfalls, Fastlane, Andy Richter Controls The Universe, Skin, Girls Club, Cracking Up, The Pits, Firefly, Get Real, Freaky Links, Wanda At Large, Costello, The Lone Gunmen, A Minute With Stan Hooper, Normal, Ohio, Pasadena, Harsh Realm, Keen Eddie, The Street, American Embassy, Cedric The Entertainer, The Tick, Louie, and Greg The Bunny.
Lois: Is there no hope?
Peter: Well, I suppose if ALL those shows go down the tubes we might have a shot | permalink

Peter: Okay, first of all, Bonnie, you've been pregnant for like six years, all right. Either have the baby or don't | permalink

Meg: Finally! Look Mom I've had it. I'm not babysitting anymore. It's Saturday night I could be out having a life.
Lois: Meg, if you don't wanna baby-sit anymore that's fine, but don't you stand there and lie to me.
Peter: OH-HO Meg, she torched your ass man! She torched your ass | permalink

Peter: Hey Mort, do these suppositories come in other flavors?
Mort: Peter, are you eating those?
Peter: No, I'm shoving 'em up my butt. Of course I'm eating 'em! | permalink

Lois: Peter did you take Stewie to a strip club? he smells like Sweat and fear.
Stewie: Ughh let me tell you Tuesday afternoon is not exactly their "A" squad, I actually saw bullet wounds. | permalink

Death: I'm going to a Celine Dion Concert. I'm not gonna kill her, I'm just gonna watch her die on her own. | permalink

Lois: I now understand that eating is not the way to solve my problems. You hear that, Meg?
Meg: For your information, Mom, I don't eat to solve my problems. I cut myself. Is that better?
Lois: Chris we all love your hat.
Chris: Thanks Mom! | permalink

Betty White: Welcome to Peterotica on tape. I'm Betty White reading "The Hot Chick Who Was Italian or Maybe Some Kind of Spanish" by Peter Griffin. Chapter one, Oh god, you should have seen this one hot chick. She was totally Italian...or maybe some kind of Spanish. | permalink

Stewie: Did you hear that Meg? Guys can marry other guys now. So this is awkward but I mean if they can do that, that is pretty much it for you, isn't it? I mean you as well pack it in. Game over. | permalink

Peter: Between you and me I hear Joe's got a little free time these days. I hear he hasn't touched Bonnie in months
Joe: Peter, you just whispered that to me. | permalink

On this week's Family Guy, after accidentally running over a dog and discovering no one cared, Brian set out to prove that an animal's life was just as important as a human's in "Dog Gone."

Meanwhile, on the far funnier side plot, Lois hired a maid, Consuela, to help out around the house.  Sure we called last week's episode offensive and racist, but for some reason we loved this maid.  We may have felt a little guilty about it, but her brutal honesty and stubborness killed in every scene she was in.

Overall, the episode was great.  The main plot showed heart with the usual Stewie and Brian bonding moments, while the sideplot provided plenty of laugh out loud moments.  Here are some of our favorite Family Guy quotes from the half hour:

Brian: I can't believe our society values the life of a dog less than a human. It's infuriating.
Stewie: That is infuriating. Maybe you should go bark at a tree and then chew on your balls for an hour. | permalink

Stewie [on the phone]: You're the new housekeeper aren't you?
Consuela: Si.
Stewie: I don't want to point fingers but I'm missing about thousand dollars of play money.
Consuela: I take.
Stewie: What? You took it?
Consuela: Si.
Stewie: Then give it back.
Consuela: Come get it, bitch. | permalink

Lois: That's a great idea, maybe you can join PETA.
Peter: Join me for what?
Lois: No, PETA, the organization.
Peter: What organization?
Lois: PETA.
Peter: what?
Lois: PETA is an acronym, Peter.
Peter: No I'm not, I'm Catholic.
Stewie: Are we really doing this? | permalink

On this week's episode of Family Guy, "Jerome is the New Black," the writers tried to push the envelope and see just how offensives they could be with black jokes.

When the guys decided to fill the void left be Cleveland in their entourage, they decided to fill him with Jerome, a walking stereotype that apparently once dated Lois.

The episode managed to use KKK jokes and even had Stewie accuse Jerome of robbing them.  Meanwhile, Brian had a pathetic storyline in which he desperately tried to get Quagmire to like him, only to get emotionally destroyed.

So overall, it was a fairly weak episode that was a little too heavy on the racism... even for Family Guy.  That said, here's some of our favorite Family Guy quotes from the half hour!

Peter: I know you're interested in being the fourth guy in our entourage, Kevin Connolly, but aren't you a little small?
Quagmire: I'll tell you what you can be in our group if I can have some of your cereal.
Kevin Connolly: Oh no, they're after me Kevin Connoly charms. | permalink

Jerome: I got time for whatever I want, fool. My watch dont't tell time, I tell it. | permalink

Lois: You're being silly, Jerome and I dated over twelve inches go. | permalink

Jerome: There is I must fess to, when we were living together I had myself lots of nasty ass sex with Meg.
Peter: I don't care about that. | permalink

Last night on Family Guy, Quagmire discovered that all his sexual exploits finally had repercussions when he learns he has a baby girl that gets dropped off on his doorstep during "Quagmire's Baby."  We're actually quite shocked Family Guy never went with this plotline before.

Quagmire actually steps it up and names the girl Ana Lee and attempts to raise her on his own, until she gets in the way of him getting laid.  That's when he puts the girl up for adoption.

Meanwhile Stewie created clones for Brian and himself.  All in all it was a mediocre episode that had some decent Family Guy quotes.  Here's some of our favorites:

Stewie: Hey will you take me down to Baby Gap? I want to dress like a small douche. | permalink

Stewie: It's healthier than what they ate in the fifties...
Customer: Steak and donut sandwich please.
Waiter: You want cigarettes on that sandwich.
Customer: What do I look like a Mary? Of course I want cigarattes. | permalink

Quagmire [reading note]: Glen, this is your child, next time wear a condom jerk. Oh my god!
Peter: Wait, hang on, there's no guarantee it's your baby.
Baby: Gigitty.
Quagmire: Ooh, I say that. | permalink

Quagmire: How long you been in beauty school?
Candy: Two months.
Quagmire: Well tonight, we're doing facials! | permalink

Brian [about puddle of clone]: I'm not proud of this, but i'm gonna have to lick that up. | permalink

Joe: We shouldn't let this ruin our night, let's just enjoy the strippers.
Peter: I guess, I just hate how much that one gets into her work.
Stripper: You boys have been very naughty. I'm gonna have to assign you extra homework.
Peter: Fractions are so hard, what'd you get for number four?
Joe: She says don't share answers! | permalink

Have you stopped laughing yet from last week's Family Guy?

The episode poked fun at Miley Cyrus, featuring the singer as a Disney-programmed robot that went crazy and blew up the town. These things sometimes happen in Quahog.

Cyrus, of course, didn't voice the character herself. That honor fell to Candace Marie, a rising singer that has landed a recurring role on the hilarious sitcom.

What part will she play? And how does she feel about voicing Miley? We asked Marie these questions in an exclusive interview with the gorgeous star...

TV Fanatic: How did the role on Family Guy come about?
Marie: The producer I was working with for my album (Becoming a Real Girl), John Paterno, told me about the audition opportunity. I went in for it and got a call from the casting director, Linda LeMontane, a month later.

TV Fanatic: Any fear of upsetting Miley Cyrus fans? 
Marie: No, not at all actually. I'm a Miley Cyrus fan myself and I was very impressed by the way Family Guy developed the episode. I think it's a huge compliment for them to refer to Miley as the "perfect popstar." The rest, well, it's Family Guy.

TV Fanatic: Were you a fan of Family Guy prior to landing this role?
Marie: Isn't everyone? I just have such a respect for Seth and the show. He worked really hard for this show and has persevered through so much. The sky is the limit for that team - even if you don’t agree with the content - I think everyone in the industry can be inspired by the creativity and dedication.

TV Fanatic: Did you get to meet any of the cast members? 
Marie: Yes! Seth MacFarlane, Mike Henry, Seth Green, Craig Robinson, Alex Borstein, Mae Whitman, and more. The Family Guy office is such a fun and warm place. For this role, I recorded with Seth MacFarlane.  He is so talented and inspirational. He literally switches between Brian and Stewie with out a seam. It's amazing! I was lucky enough to be brought back as Miley for The Cleveland Show and work with Mike Henry.  

TV Fanatic: Tell us about Beth, your new character on Family Guy. 
Marie: Yes, I was fortunate enough to be asked back to Family Guy for several upcoming episodes, including Beth. She is one of Meg's friends that is never really addressed in conversation but loves to chime in whenever she can. It's fantastic and so much fun to tap into that character.

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On the second of two new episodes of Family Guy during last night's live action special, Miley Cyrus came to Quahog and Stewie was willing to do whatever it took to see her.

While the episode, "Hannah Banana," didn't actually feature Miley Cyrus doing the voice (it was Candace Marie), they definitely has some fun at the teen star's expense. 

Family Guy made Cyrus out to be an android created by the Disney corporation that eventually went on a rampage against the city.  Not so different from the real Miley.

Meanwhile, Chris tried to prove to the family once and for all that the evil monkey in his closet was real.  Turns out the monkey was real... but not so evil.  He actually helped contribute many of the great Family Guy quotes from the half hour.  Just check out some of our favorites:

Brian: This is my friend Stewie. He's just a baby and he's your biggest fan. And he has cancer
Miley Cyrus: Oh my god, really?
Brian: Yeah he has a tumor in his head the size of a football.
Miley Cyrus: Yeah I think I can see it. | permalink

Chris: That's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me. Thanks evil mon.... thanks monkey.
Monkey: I'd get up to hug you but sitting down is the only thing keeping the poop in. | permalink

Peter: Lois, could you tell Chris that I'm sorry that I ever planted the seed version of him in your vagina? | permalink

Brian [about robot Miley Cyrus]: You think she does other things like a real girl, if you reprogram her?
Stewie: Brian's that sick. She's 16
Brian: I'm 8
Stewie: You're right, I'll see what I can do | permalink

Monkey: Ms Cyrus, I ask you to stop what you're doing. I don't just mean this. I mean the show, the music, the movie, it's all just awful | permalink