Leslie: And I am submitting this: A brief history of everything that has ever happened since Pawnee was founded. Not like you get extra credit for this, but I did type it from memory and for the first time ever compiled, it includes a complete list of every official town slogan we've ever had


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Leslie: Pawnee, the Paris of America. Pawnee, the Akron of southwest Indiana. Pawnee, welcome, German soldiers. After the Nazis took France our mayor kind of panicked. Pawnee, the factory fire capital of America. Pawnee, welcome, Vietnamese soldiers. Pawnee, engage with Zorp. For a brief time in the '70s, our town was taken over by a cult. Pawnee, Zorp is dead. Long live Zorp. Pawnee, it's safe to be here now. Pawnee, birthplace of Julia Roberts. That was a lie, she sued and so we had to change it. Pawnee, home of the world famous Julia Roberts lawsuit. Pawnee, welcome, Taliban soldiers. And finally, our current slogan: Pawnee, first in friendship, fourth in obesity.

Hey, Leslie. I have an idea. Why don't we put Eduardo in there and seal the top so that he suffocates and dies.

Andy