A stork wrapped around a tree branch. That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen before. You know that's how the plague started back in the day. It was from a little disgusting birdbath in someone's backyard that rats made sex to birds in it and created a whole new type of AIDS.

Kenny Powers

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Eastbound & Down Season 1 Episode 2 Quotes

Ashley: I don't want to be embarrassed.
Kenny: Well, you're doing a good job of that on your own just by how you fucking look.

Kenny: Man, this feels good Clegg.
Clegg: Did you take one of those black beauties? The ecstasy?
Kenny: Nah dude. This is a real job. It's not like teachin' kids. Can't get fucked up.