Lana: First of all, your plan was too complicated!
Slater: Maybe for you people.
Archer: It had everything except a sign for free birdseed.

Slater: Everyone else, these are your dossiers. Read them on the way to Tunt Manor.
Cheryl: Tunt Manor! That's my house!
Slater: I know! (mimicking Cheryl's high voice) And because you know the property, you'll be posing as the listing agent.
Cheryl: Ahhhh! (squealing and clapping)
Mallory: Shut up!
Cheryl: Burn!

I've always found fear to be my most valuable sense.


I've heard he's far more trouble than he's worth.


A lot can happen between here and Johannesburg.


Whatever you do, don't eat the franks and beans.


I do not think she will die; she wants to live. She has a lot to live for. But if she hears you weeping and lamenting, she will choose to die. Be strong, be a man; coax her back from Valhalla. And make it worth her while, for she is already at the gates.


Floki: This is your fault Ragnar. Torstein has died fighting for a hill he did not want to own. For something which meant nothing to him. He has died a pointless death. How many more of us must die for your Christians? Or have you, in your heart, already renounced our Gods and turned to the Christ God? Is that what your friend Athelstan has persuaded you to do? Here we are, under an English sky burying our dead. Those we have sacrificed for Jesus Christ.
Ragnar: We're all fated to die on a certain day, yes? But it is our own choice to do as we please until that day comes. I did not force Torstein, or any of you to come for that matter. You all chose to be here. My heart is as heavy for Torstein as anyone's, but I am sure that I will bump into him again soon. And in the meantime Floki, shut your face.

Tell me now, if you dare, that I do not deserve to be King of Wessex.

King Ecbert

Oscar: This is what I'm wearing right now. Yikes.
Felix: Casey?
Oscar: Maureen, the waitress, wearing only her name tag.
Felix: Yikes.
Oscar: Well this phone's ruined, happy birthday buddy.
Felix: That's a funny place for a name tag.

Oh he'll be gone the whole rest of the day, I sent him to the Container Store. It's his happy place. He always says the only thing that they can't contain is his enthusiasm for the Container Store.


Lagertha: Is this really a bath? It is very big.
Ecbert: So, who will join me?
Lagertha: [giggles]
Ecbert: Let us talk about the Romans. Most of what they built here now lies in ruins, but there is another place. A great city which the Romans built, and it still stands to this day. It is a city called Paris, in a land called Frankia. I visited there with the Emperor Charlemagne.
Athelstan: I once visited Paris myself. It is set upon an island in the middle of a great river called the Seine. It has high walls and ramparts all around it for many miles. I remember when I saw it for the first time, it was like a dream. As if it were not real; a vision.
Lagertha: How far is this city?