Popular Quotes
Liam: How about, instead of retaliating like a savage, we take the high road.
Fallon: I don't know. I mean, I'm proud to say I've mastered the low road.
Liam: Oh no, you take the high road with Adam -- it'll be classy -- and you take the low road with me in Thailand. Savage.
J.D.: Trust me, I wouldn't want to have to make this decision.
Mr. Larkin: I wish I could ask my wife. She'd be better at handling this than me.
J.D.: You know, you and I are a lot alike. We may seem like the kind of guy you can just, you know, throw in a head-lock and draw a mustache on... but, in crunch time, we always come through
Dean: Get out!
Michael: Oh, I don't think so.
Dean: You can't!
Michael: Oh, but I can. You see I own you. So hang on and enjoy the ride.
Chuck, you dick.
Dean
Carl: Take your meds yet?
Ian: Yep.
Carl: Going to be a stressful day.
Ian: Got it.
I can't do that. I can't leave my heart in my locker at the start of shift and just pick it up at the end. I can't. Maybe it'll break me someday. I just don't care.
Brett
I'm the Herald of Hell. I am evil.
Sabrina
Helen: Don't sleep in there. You can you use the bedroom.Elaine: I can't take your bedroom.Helen: I'm up at 6 o'clock in the morning.Elaine: I can't kick you out of your bed.Helen: We don't even sleep.
Ted that is so romantic, I want to fill a pillow case with dead batteries and beat you with it.
Barney
We have one last chance to make things right. Alone we're nothing. But if we work together, we have a shot. If we can't get over the past, the fighting will never end. We have to confront our enemies. This rivalry has to stop. One way or another.
Sam
Mike: They probably want to study our reproductive systems.
Mellie: Sex with aliens?!?
Victor: Come on. Who doesn't want to put alien guy back in the box?
Stanley: Eh...
Phyllis: I'm sorry. It's the largest one I have.
Stanley: I will not be the big guy in the tiny hat.