Popular Quotes
Bart: It's my job to be repetitive. My job. My job. Repetitiveness is my job! I am going to go out there tonight and give the best performance of my life.
Marge: The best performance of your life?
Bart: The best performance of my life.
If we were in India this would be simpler. Five minutes with her dad, 20 goats and a laptop, and it would be done
Raj [on approaching a girl]
If that log was trying to rob the place, you totally would've killed it.
Dennis
Chuck: What are YOU doing HERE?!
Blair: He's just upset, and loaded-
Chuck: What are YOU doing at my father's funeral? You think I WANT you here?
Dan: Chuck, if this is about the article, you know I didn't write it.
Chuck: You think I CARE about your failed attempt at investigative journalism?! My father's DEAD because of your father.
(Bree has stopped Danielle's party because a candle has run out)
Julie: Is she serious?
Danielle: Welcome to my own private hell.
Jordan: Oh, yeah, Ted, I moved the file cabinet. I'm gonna miss this office.
Dr. Cox: Why? It smells like that odd combo of flopsweat, hopelessness, and feet.
Jess, if she dies, I am, I, yeah, I just, please. Please.
Murphy
Kelly: I've missed you so much.
Zack: I missed you too.
Kelly: Please honey let me in. There is so much I have to tell you.
Zack: But I can't, you're...
Kelly: Look at me, you can see that that's not true. I was sick, very sick, but I'm getting better. Just let me in and I'll explain everything.
We are living in a dark, dark age and you are part of the problem.
Janey-E Jones
Kevin: Jackie? Thank you.
Jackie: For what?
Kevin: For putting up with me.
By the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife. [beat] You should smooch.
Jimmy
Turk: I'd watch a show with the Fonzi and a gremlin.
J.D.: Fonzi couldn't take care of a gremlin, he's too busy being cool.