Accidentally on Purpose

Abby Quotes

Abby: This couch is so dirty, I really feel like I'm having an adventure.
Davis: You should see the bathroom. It's like being in Bangladesh.
Abby: You know, if my sister weren't pregnant, I never would've met you.
Davis: Well, if my best friend hadn't had sex with her, I never would have met you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Nick: We're going to be parents... eventually.
Abby: Well, eventually, I'm going to be infertile.
Nick: Are we really doing this I-wanna-have-a-baby thing again over eggs Benedict?
Abby: I think doing it over eggs is completely appropriate! Because every month, I make one, you do nothing about it, and it dies.
 • Rating: Unrated

Abby: After two mimosas, [my husband]'s open-minded. After three, he blacks out.
 • Rating: Unrated

Billie: So I met this cute, funny guy. And even if I'm so gigantic I can't even see if I need a bikini wax... I think he was flirting with me.
Abby: Of course, he was. We're the Chase sisters. People chase us.
 • Rating: Unrated

Billie: Zack peed on me.
Abby: Is that a metaphor, like "he peed on your dreams"?
Billie: Nope, he actually peed on me.
Olivia: Well, that needs to be consensual
 • Rating: Unrated

Abby: Listen, I know that you think the only reason we're friends is because of Billie but that...
Olivia: That is not true! I don't think we're friends
 • Rating: Unrated

Abby: I have some amazing, unbelievable news that is going to blow you away.
Billie: Oh my God! Are you...?!
Abby: Yes! I'm Facebook friends with Olivia!
 • Rating: Unrated

Abby: What about Zack? Are you at least gonna tell him you're going to start dating?
Billie: Of course.... Now, I am.
Olivia: Do it with your top off. I've delivered a lot of bad news that way
 • Rating: Unrated

Abby [to Billie]: You didn't call me before you tried to seduce [Zack] because you know that I think you should have a real relationship with him. You didn't want to hear that, so you called the bad idea lady [points to Olivia]
 • Rating: Unrated

Billie: I tossed [Zack's] room.
Abby: You did not!
Billie: Oh, but I did. I tossed it like a prison guard looking for crack
 • Rating: Unrated

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