Popular Abed Quotes
Pierce: Abed the Arab? Is that inappropriate?
Abed: Sure.
I thought you were like Bill Murray in any of his films, but you're more like Michael Douglas in any of his films.
Abed: Jeff, I have to make some adjustments to my film, you'll play my father
Jeff: I don't want to be your father
Abed: Perfect, you already know the lines
9/11 was pretty much the 9/11 of the falafel market
Our first assignment is a documentary, they're like real movies but with ugly people
Britta: Did you do all that to me on purpose? That's not a very nice way to treat your friends
Abed: Well, Britta, it isn't called friend business, it's called show business [lights up a cigarette and leaves the room]
Britta: He's smoking!
Jeff: Honey, let him leave the nest
Troy: I'm president Obama's nephew
Abed: You never mentioned that before
Troy: I didn't know if I could trust you, but now it's time to tell you everything, starting with we invented the Ferrari
Abed [about Jeff and Britta]: Will they or won't they, sexual tension
Jeff: Abed, it make the group uncomfortable when you talk about the group like we're characters in a show you're watching
Abed: That's sort of my gimmick, but we did lean on that pretty hard last week. I can lay low for an episode
Pierce: Before AIDS, sex was like shaking hands.
Abed: Hence AIDS
Abed: Jeff, did I say anything in my sleep last night about farm animals or Brian Williams?
Jeff: ...I don't think so.
Abed: Cool. Cool, cool, cool. [edit]
Abed: Sometimes I like to pour hot chocolate mix into cold milk and drink it with hot cocoa, I call it special drink
Jeff: And some day you will know it by its true name, diabetes
Abed: This is kinda like Breakfast Club, right?
Pierce: Is there breakfast?
