Sheldon: I've seen things. Lady things.
Amy: Listen to me. That is not the way they usually look.
Sheldon: It doesn't matter. This is no way to make new humans. People coming out of people. Some kind of dirty magic show.

Amy: Can we maybe put the phones down and have an actual human conversation?
Sheldon: We can, but thanks to Steve Jobs, we don't have to.

Amy: What's the show?
Penny: Um, NC ... II .... Or, you know, NCSTD ... I don't know, it's the one with all the letters and I'm gonna be on it!

Amy: I'm just going to go find him and be brutally honest.
Raj: He'll be so upset. He'll probably climb up the Empire State Building and start swatting at planes.

Howard: A mineral and rock show? That would be awful even without Bert.
Amy: So what am I supposed to do now?
Raj: Prepare your uterus for his gigantic offspring

Howard: Yeah, he's nice because he likes you.
Amy: What? No he doesn't.
Raj: He brought you a pretty rock.
Amy: So? He does that every day----Oh.

Penny: I can't believe Leonard is spending hundred of dollars on scalped tickets.
Amy: Last week, you spent that on a little dress.
Penny: Yeah, but those tickets only get him into Comic-Con. That dress gets me into anywhere I want.

Amy: I'm sorry, but "Gollum" and "Flakey" are not acceptable.
Sheldon: Well, you don't like "Princess Corncob," you don't like "Fester" -- you're just impossible to please.

Amy: An evening looking at the stars, that's still kind of romantic.
Raj: Except I'll be alone.
Amy: I'm trying to put lipstick on a pig here. Work with me.

Guess if you can guess this one? Bang! Splat! Thud.

Howard: You okay?
Amy: Why? Because my boyfriend's off playing choo-choo with some weirdo?

Amy: I deserve romance, and I didn't know how else to make it happen.
Sheldon: Well, if you want romance, then let's have romance! Oh, look, there's wine. Mmm. Grape juice that burns. Uh, now let's gaze into each other's eyes, hmm? You blinked I win. Let's see. What's next? Oh, kissing's romantic.
Amy: That was nice.
Sheldon: Good.

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TBBT Quotes

Oh, Bernadette, please play my clarinet.

Raj's poem

Sheldon: I'll have a diet Coke.
Penny: Can you please order a cocktail? I need to practice mixing drinks.
Sheldon: Fine... I'll have a virgin Cuba Libre.
Penny: That's... rum and Coke without the rum.
Sheldon: Yes, and would you make it diet?