Favorite Ann Perkins Quotes
Ann: I don't think I should go out with you.
Chris: Can I ask you why not? Because I thought we had a great time the night you got drunk and kissed me. And... you did use your tongue.
Ann: Do you think anybody's going to show up?
Leslie: A) Yes. B) Even if they don't, we'll just put the concert on ourselves. But C) Yes, yes. They're definitely going to show up. Although D) Maybe not.
Ann: As a nurse and as your friend, I highly suggest you don't try to stay up for the next 24 hours.
Leslie: I can definitely do it. I've already been up for 24 hours.
Ann: I thought you might like a fresh set of pillows.
April: Are you trying to smother me? Help! The slutty nurse is trying to smother me to death with a pillow!
Ann: OK, nevermind.
April: Stay back, slut.
Ron: When I look at my palm I see a lady's mouth French kissing a dog. Is that normal?
Ann: Well, the pain medication I gave you is pretty strong. Donna uses it for menstrual cramps.
Ann: Wow, that's disgusting.
Chris: Yeah, it's very hard to drink.
Ann: Here are the keys. And remember...
April: I know. Don't let Tom make a copy.
Leslie: Possum, there was a possum. We captured a possum and we brought it into your house and it got out and it might have laid eggs in your bed.
Ann: What?
Leslie: And it went into your laundry and your kitchen and it touched all your bras. And I'm so sorry, it's our fault we captured it and it got out and it ran around and it was a possum, OK? April, run, April. Sorry, Ann. I love you!
Chris: I'd love to chat with you. Can I call you?
Ann: You have my phone number?
Chris: No, you couldn't remember your phone number. But you gave me your phone.
Pawnee is the fourth most obese city in America. The kids here are just beefy. They're husky, big-boned, chunk monsters.
Donna: So, I made my desk out of silver M&Ms, but they do not make silver M&Ms so I spray painted them.
Ann: Okay, so those are poisonous, so no one eat them.
Andy: Yeah, duh!
Ann: Go throw up.
Andy: I didn't eat any.
Ann: Go throw up.
It's really hard to say congrats without sounding sarcastic.
