Ron: Anne was getting a little chummy. When people get a little too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them.
April: That's a really nice move.
Ron: Thank you.
April: You're welcome Lester.

Andy: April, you're like an angel with no wings.
April: So like a person?

My mom's Puerto Rican. That's why I'm so lively and colorful.

April: I love you.
Andy: Dude, shut up! That is awesome sauce!

Andy recently diagnosed himself with what he calls Shoeshine Head. It's when you shine too many shoes and the fumes create a thunderstorm in your brain. Cures include coffee, cheeseburgers and napping on the floor.

Jean-Ralphio: This party sucks. Let's get out of here.
April: It's my birthday party.
Jean-Ralphio: It is?
April: Yes.
Jean-Ralphio: Sorry, boo.

Jerry: I was walking Lord Sheldon.
April: Ew, is that code for some kind of weird sex act?
Jerry: Lord Sheldon is my dog. My wife named him.
April: Ew.

"I guess I kind of hate most things. But I never really seem to hate you. So I want to spend the rest of my life with you, is that cool?"

I don't care about that prize, but I'm gonna win because I want his happiness to away.

Ron: Anyone find any mistakes?
April: Yeah, actually, in here it says that Pawnee is great, but in reality it's terrible.

Donna: You'll never guess what I found on Jerry's Facebook.
April: A friend? Buuurn.

April: I want to go to The Glitter Factory.
Leslie: Well, drop out of school and start doing meth.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Sometimes when you make an omelet you've gotta break a few eggs. What's the alternative? No omelets at all? Who wants to live in that kind of world? Maybe birds. Then all their babies would live.

Leslie

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April