Ann: Once again, they are my biological children.
April: And once again, I don't believe you.

April: But in the end? Bringing a child into this world? That's disgusting!
Andy: Nooo, we'd wipe all the disgusting stuff right off it!

Andy: I get to push the buttons! I call it!
April: He called it.
Leslie: Yeah I know.

Oh yeah, you completely disgraced yourself and almost destroyed an entire town!

Andy: Ohh babe you had a crush on me, that's emabrassing!
April: We're married.
Andy: Still!

Leslie: You wanted to run something by me?
April: Yes. So well you help me?
Leslie: you don't need me! You can get whatever job you want!

Leslie: Attagirl!
April: Ugh, mom!

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I just want to say thank you, and I love you very much. Which is why I decided not to turn you into a sea urchin, which I can do, because I'm an actual witch, with powers, and I'm evil, and -

I just fell backwards into your world, a couple years went by, and now here I am.

Oh yeah, tiny rolled up scrolls delivered by foxes.

You should up your therapy to seven times a weak, fix that outfit, and give me your wallet.

I moved our meetings to tomorrow because you are drunk, and hangover, simultaneously, at 2 in the afternoon.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Andy: There's an old saying in show business: The show must go wrong. Everything always goes wrong, and you just have to deal with it.

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!