Ann: Once again, they are my biological children.
April: And once again, I don't believe you.

April: But in the end? Bringing a child into this world? That's disgusting!
Andy: Nooo, we'd wipe all the disgusting stuff right off it!

Andy: I get to push the buttons! I call it!
April: He called it.
Leslie: Yeah I know.

Oh yeah, you completely disgraced yourself and almost destroyed an entire town!

Andy: Ohh babe you had a crush on me, that's emabrassing!
April: We're married.
Andy: Still!

Leslie: You wanted to run something by me?
April: Yes. So well you help me?
Leslie: you don't need me! You can get whatever job you want!

Leslie: Attagirl!
April: Ugh, mom!

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I just want to say thank you, and I love you very much. Which is why I decided not to turn you into a sea urchin, which I can do, because I'm an actual witch, with powers, and I'm evil, and -

I just fell backwards into your world, a couple years went by, and now here I am.

Oh yeah, tiny rolled up scrolls delivered by foxes.

You should up your therapy to seven times a weak, fix that outfit, and give me your wallet.

I moved our meetings to tomorrow because you are drunk, and hangover, simultaneously, at 2 in the afternoon.

Parks & Rec Quotes

I may not have won, but at least I didn't make any new friendships.

April [about the beauty pageant]

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April