Arrested Development

Barry Zuckerkorn Quotes

Barry: Those are balls. You're looking at balls here.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barry: You don't want to go in front of that judge. I caught him in a drag club.
Gob: What were you doing there?
Barry: Wow, you should be the lawyer.
 • Rating: Unrated

Barry: You really wanna settle this, now your job is to convince that "wife" of yours that you are willing to go in front of a judge and admit that you never had sex.
Gob: She has a name Barry. You don't happen to know what it is by the way, do ya?
Barry: That's why I want to settle...I'm not "super prepared".
Gob: Well, we did have sex...and I'm not a great liar.
Narrator: Both things he just said were lies.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: We need to speak to you about getting a divorce for Gob.
Barry: Well, I got Michael out of his marriage, didn't I?
(Smiles and holds up hand for high five)
Michael: Actually, she died.
Barry: You're kidding me. I've been taking credit for that for years!
 • Rating: Unrated

Barry: Unfortunately, it's a private stock, so you cannot just buy up the shares unless someone is willing to sell.
Michael: Are you sure?
Barry: That's what they said on "Ask Jeeves".
 • Rating: Unrated

Barry: A company called Stanpor.
Gob: Stanpor?
Michael: As in the opposite of Sitwell, which is run by a certain hairless man who could be very upset with you right now.
Gob: What has he to be upset with me about? (one of his eyebrows drops down)
Michael: You are wearing his eyebrows?
Gob: It made me feel dressier.
 • Rating: Unrated

Barry: Can I have a moment alone with my client, please? (to Michael) Did you follow any of that?
 • Rating: Unrated

Barry: Well, if he's got a shot with her, just give me a little tap on the fanny.
Michael: It's not going to happen.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barry: Our star witness. Come here. Good to see you. You know what? Don't get too close to me. 'Cause I've got an itch you can't believe. I think something laid eggs on me.
Michael: Thanks for the heads up.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: I might not be the best witness either. I got a phone call from Kitty this morning.
Barry: Your secretary?
George Sr.: My secretary.
Michael: She says that she's got some evidence, and she's threatening to bring down the company unless we meet her demands.
Gob: Oh, that is just great. Now, I'm expected to climb back on top of Kitty and do my thing again. I mean, this family runs into problems and it's "Oh, let's have Gob (bleep) our way out of it."
 • Rating: Unrated

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