The Big Bang Theory

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory

Bernadette: Why are you being a baby?
Howard: I'm not a baby! I'm a grown man, and I made the bed. Now where's my star?

Leonard: I think what Penny meant is, the thought of you two in a mine is kind of funny-- it's like a cat riding a Roomba.
Howard: If they get scared, they'll have those hats with the lights on them, 'cause down there it's night-night all the time!
Bernadette: Maybe they could ride around in one of those mine carts that go,(squeakily): ee-oo-ee-oo-ee-oo.
Leonard: Yeah, it'll help them get away when they see a gh-gh-ghost...!

Bernadette: They throw an actual ball, you were throwing air at a tv.
Howard: For your information, I also threw Leonard a high five.

Bernadette: Why don't I get you a job at the Sitting Around All Day Wearing Yoga Pants Factory?
Penny: They're comfortable.

Howie, I love you,and as your wife, your mother is every bit as much my problem as she is yours, so ... I want a divorce.

Bernadette: You know, you're always talking about having a baby someday. This is exactly what it's gonna be like.
Howard: No, it's not.
Bernadette: Come on. The constant fussing, eating, pooping, burping, drooling. We're even waiting for the day when she can finally walk on her own.
Howard: Maybe you're right. Anything she finds on the floor goes right in her mouth.

Bernadette: Girl Sprouts?
Amy: My mom made it up as an alternative to the Girl Scouts. She didn't want me selling cookies on a street corner like a whore.

Bernadette: This is pretty cool. You don't see too many spherical cakes.
Amy: I wonder why that is.

Bernadette: How's your soup?
Howard: Ah, it's all right. They could've filled the bowl a little more.
Raj: [Laughs}
Howard: Excuse me.
Bernadette: Where are you going?
Howard: I need some fresh air.
Emily: Been there.

Sheldon: Quick poll: PS4 or Xbox One? Raj.
Raj: Uh, Xbox One.
Sheldon: Penny.
Penny: Huh?
Sheldon: Leonard.
Leonard: PS4.
Sheldon: Wolowitz.
Howard: Both great.
Sheldon: Bernadette.
Bernadette: I like the Wii.
Sheldon: Thanks, Grandma

Well, I told Howie if I wasn't busy I'd spend the night at his mom's. So for God's sake think of something.

Bernadette: Raj, your tag's sticking out.
Raj: Thank you. That's the closest I've come to sex in like 2 years.
Bernadette: Well, I feel gross.
Raj: Now it's making it seem more real for me.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 88 in total

TBBT Quotes

Leonard: What? You're afraid of both dinosaurs and chickens.
Sheldon: Yes, but tell me a dinosaur chicken salad sandwich wouldn't hit the Mesozoic spot.

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?

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