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The-big-bang-theory

Howard: Fake a laugh? Do you ever do that with me?
Bernadette: No, of course not.
Howard: Well, I'd be able to tell anyway.
Bernadette: I don't think you would.
Howard: Please, I've made plenty of girls laugh, sometimes just by asking them out.
Bernadette: [Laughs]
Howard: Yeah, well, I fake my orgasms.

Bernadette: How come the three of you never got an apartment together?
Leonard: We talked about it, but Howard was in a pretty serious relationship with his mom.
Howard: I lived with her to save money.
Raj: You didn't have to buy groceries because you were breast feeding.

Yeah, we were totally fine half-assing our marriage till you showed up.

Penny: Ooh, that looks like fun.
Bernadette: Maybe you should master glue before you move on to fire.

Sheldon: To the planetarium!
Penny: Let's go!
Leonard: To the Tar Pits!
Bernadette: Let's go!
Amy: There's a Neil Diamond concert next month.
Howard: Let's go!

Howard: I feel so stupid. And fat.
Bernadette: That's okay. You still look great to me. In fact, why don't we go in the bedroom and I'll prove it to you?
Howard: Sex? Really? That's just your solution for everything.

Howard: You're full of estrogen and you don't act like that.
Bernadette: That's 'cause I'm a woman. I've had years of practice riding the dragon.

Bernadette: You know, one of the things that helped me get through Howard being in space for so long was getting married before he left.
Penny: Bernadette, sweetie, shut up.

Long story short. She's on the no-fly list and we might have been followed here by a drone.

Penny: Vegas here we come.
Bernadette: No husbands. No boyfriends. No rules
Amy: No rules. We're not going to get drunk and have a six-way with the Blue Man Group, are we?
Penny: No.
Amy: So there are some rules.
Bernadette: Okay. No husbands. No boyfriends. Some rules.
Amy: Thank you. VEGAS!

Howard: When this all blows over, remember that voice. It's kind of a turn-on.
Bernadette: It turns you on when I sound like Raj?

Howard: Son of a bitch, she's gone.
Bernadette: Where'd she go?
Howard: I don't know. She didn't leave a note.
Bernadette: You were the one who was supposed to put her back in the stroller!
Howard: No, I wasn't! You were!
Bernadette: No, I wasn't!
Howard: Yes, you were!
Bernadette: Well, you throw like a girl.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 84 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?

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