Penny: That, believe it or not, is my prom dress.
Bernadette: Wow, you still have it? I just assumed it was balled up in the corner of a barn somewhere.
Penny: What kind of teenager did you think I was?
Bernadette: Slutty.
Amy: Easy.
Penny: The word is "popular."

Amy: As a female scientist, I think what you do affects all of us.
Bernadette: And I think you don't like people expressing their sexuality because no one wants you to express yours.

Amy: I simply pointed out that they would never consider doing an article ranking male scientists on their sexuality, let alone showing them in various stages of undress.
Bernadette: Because no one wants to see Neil deGrasse Tyson in a wet T-shirt bent over the hood of a Porsche.

Bernadette: Why are you being a baby?
Howard: I'm not a baby! I'm a grown man, and I made the bed. Now where's my star?

Leonard: I think what Penny meant is, the thought of you two in a mine is kind of funny-- it's like a cat riding a Roomba.
Howard: If they get scared, they'll have those hats with the lights on them, 'cause down there it's night-night all the time!
Bernadette: Maybe they could ride around in one of those mine carts that go,(squeakily): ee-oo-ee-oo-ee-oo.
Leonard: Yeah, it'll help them get away when they see a gh-gh-ghost...!

Bernadette: They throw an actual ball, you were throwing air at a tv.
Howard: For your information, I also threw Leonard a high five.

Bernadette: Why don't I get you a job at the Sitting Around All Day Wearing Yoga Pants Factory?
Penny: They're comfortable.

Howie, I love you,and as your wife, your mother is every bit as much my problem as she is yours, so ... I want a divorce.

Bernadette: You know, you're always talking about having a baby someday. This is exactly what it's gonna be like.
Howard: No, it's not.
Bernadette: Come on. The constant fussing, eating, pooping, burping, drooling. We're even waiting for the day when she can finally walk on her own.
Howard: Maybe you're right. Anything she finds on the floor goes right in her mouth.

Bernadette: Girl Sprouts?
Amy: My mom made it up as an alternative to the Girl Scouts. She didn't want me selling cookies on a street corner like a whore.

Bernadette: This is pretty cool. You don't see too many spherical cakes.
Amy: I wonder why that is.

Bernadette: How's your soup?
Howard: Ah, it's all right. They could've filled the bowl a little more.
Raj: [Laughs}
Howard: Excuse me.
Bernadette: Where are you going?
Howard: I need some fresh air.
Emily: Been there.

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon