I'm the kind of girl who can get all the giant missiles she wants.

Bernadette: I think the woman can manage to put a wig on by herself.
Howard: It's not just the wig, it's pinning her hair up, it's putting on her eyebrows...it's a two person job.

Bernadette: Leonard's really one of a kind.
Amy: Saying that while holding a snowflake is a bit heavy-handed don't you think?

Some women don't like to get chummy when their panties are down.

I can't do this anymore. I'm a good girl! I went to Catholic School!

Howard's mother had a heart attack because I have sex with him and she can't!

Bernadette: The thesis committee accepted my doctoral dissertation. I'm getting my Ph.D!!
(the other congratulate her)
Penny: Wow! So that means that....(points around the table to all the Ph.D's) You're a doctor, you're a doctor, you're a doctor, YOU'RE a doctor, and Howard....you know a lot of doctors!!

Bernadette: I was head-hunted by a big pharmaceutical company. They're going to pay me a buttload of money!!
Leonard: Bernadette, that's great!! Howard, do YOU make a buttload?
Howard: Better than what YOU got a buttload of!

Bernadette: I'm not going to live with your mother. Not now. Not ever.
Howard: Somebody, obviously, has some mommy issues.

Howard: Can you believe grown men sit around and play with toy trains?
Bernadette: That's pretty big talk for a man with a closet full of magic tricks at his mother's house.

Bernadette: Are those Russian rockets safe?
Howard: Well, I mean, safe as it can be when it was build by the good folks who brought you Chernobyl.

Penny: He wasn't intellectually stimulating enough.
Bernadette: Couldn't you just fool around with him and then listen to NPR?
Penny: Wouldn't help. Zack couldn't even spell NPR.

TBBT Quotes

You can't ruin a friendship with sex that's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.

Raj

Sheldon: Even the dung beetle chooses to plot its course by using the Milky Way.
Raj: Is that true?
Sheldon: Everything I say is true. Now, of course, the dung beetle also enjoys eating fece, living in feces and making little balls out of feces. So, pick and choose which aspects of its lifestyle you want to embrace.