Bernadette: I was head-hunted by a big pharmaceutical company. They're going to pay me a buttload of money!!
Leonard: Bernadette, that's great!! Howard, do YOU make a buttload?
Howard: Better than what YOU got a buttload of!
Bernadette: The thesis committee accepted my doctoral dissertation. I'm getting my Ph.D!!
(the other congratulate her)
Penny: Wow! So that means that....(points around the table to all the Ph.D's) You're a doctor, you're a doctor, you're a doctor, YOU'RE a doctor, and Howard....you know a lot of doctors!!
Howard's mother had a heart attack because I have sex with him and she can't!
I can't do this anymore. I'm a good girl! I went to Catholic School!
Some women don't like to get chummy when their panties are down.
Bernadette: Leonard's really one of a kind.
Amy: Saying that while holding a snowflake is a bit heavy-handed don't you think?
Bernadette: I think the woman can manage to put a wig on by herself.
Howard: It's not just the wig, it's pinning her hair up, it's putting on her eyebrows...it's a two person job.
I'm the kind of girl who can get all the giant missiles she wants.
Penny: He wasn't intellectually stimulating enough.
Bernadette: Couldn't you just fool around with him and then listen to NPR?
Penny: Wouldn't help. Zack couldn't even spell NPR.