Howard: You know, there's a saying we have at NASA. What makes the right stuff so right is that it always comes home.
Bernadette: Stop talking, Howard.

Bernadette: Are those Russian rockets safe?
Howard: Well, I mean, safe as it can be when it was build by the good folks who brought you Chernobyl.

Howard: Can you believe grown men sit around and play with toy trains?
Bernadette: That's pretty big talk for a man with a closet full of magic tricks at his mother's house.

Bernadette: I'm not going to live with your mother. Not now. Not ever.
Howard: Somebody, obviously, has some mommy issues.

Bernadette: I was head-hunted by a big pharmaceutical company. They're going to pay me a buttload of money!!
Leonard: Bernadette, that's great!! Howard, do YOU make a buttload?
Howard: Better than what YOU got a buttload of!

Bernadette: The thesis committee accepted my doctoral dissertation. I'm getting my Ph.D!!
(the other congratulate her)
Penny: Wow! So that means that....(points around the table to all the Ph.D's) You're a doctor, you're a doctor, you're a doctor, YOU'RE a doctor, and know a lot of doctors!!

Howard's mother had a heart attack because I have sex with him and she can't!

I can't do this anymore. I'm a good girl! I went to Catholic School!

Some women don't like to get chummy when their panties are down.

Bernadette: Leonard's really one of a kind.
Amy: Saying that while holding a snowflake is a bit heavy-handed don't you think?

Bernadette: I think the woman can manage to put a wig on by herself.
Howard: It's not just the wig, it's pinning her hair up, it's putting on her's a two person job.

I'm the kind of girl who can get all the giant missiles she wants.

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.