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Beiste: Dr. Jones said the new end of world date is September 27, 2014
Brittany: That gives us like two whole years of giving love and brutal honesty to everyone we know.

Sue: Anything else?
Brittany: Sometimes I forget my middle name.

Artie: I'm kind of getting cold feet.
Brittany: Can you even feel your feet?

The way to get a man to follow you forever, take his virginity. Madonna wrote a song about it.

I'm pretty sure my cat is reading my diary.

I had a cold and I took all my antibiotics at the same time and I forgot how to leave.

When I pulled my hamstring, I went to a misogynist.

Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?

I don't know how to turn on a computer.

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