Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?

Sue: Anything else?
Brittany: Sometimes I forget my middle name.

When I pulled my hamstring, I went to a misogynist.

The way to get a man to follow you forever, take his virginity. Madonna wrote a song about it.

I'm pretty sure my cat is reading my diary.

I had a cold and I took all my antibiotics at the same time and I forgot how to leave.

Artie: I'm kind of getting cold feet.
Brittany: Can you even feel your feet?

I don't know how to turn on a computer.

Who is that guy?

Brittany [on mohawk-shaven Puck]

You're pretty much the only guy in this school I haven't made out with because I thought you were capital G gay. But now that I know you're not, having a perfect record would mean a lot to me. Let me know if you wanna tap this.

Kissing my armpits is a really big turn-on for me.

Brittany: You're a really good dancer.
Finn: Thanks, but my feet weren't really dancing.
Brittany: That was the best part.

Glee Quotes

I'm gonna miss all of you. I love you guys.

Puck

Kiss my ass, Josh Groban! I'm an internationally-ranked cheerleading coach!

Sue