[to Kurt] You know, these Mounds bars are delicious, but you have to eat them. If you just hold them in your hand hoping that you might get to eat them one day, they're going to melt and you'll look like somebody just pooped in your hand. Don't let waiting for things to maybe work out with Blaine turn you into the guy who looks like somebody just pooped in their hand.

Blaine: Where's the bed?
Brittany: I removed it because when I imagined you two having sex I imagined a U-haul mounting a moped.

Brittany: As a math genius, I am one of the few people who understand the concept of infinity and I will love you until infinity, Santana Lopez.
Santana: And I will love you until infinity too, Britt.

Sue: Anything else?
Brittany: Sometimes I forget my middle name.

I'm pretty sure my cat is reading my diary.

I had a cold and I took all my antibiotics at the same time and I forgot how to leave.

The way to get a man to follow you forever, take his virginity. Madonna wrote a song about it.

I don't know how to turn on a computer.

Who is that guy?

Brittany [on mohawk-shaven Puck]

You're pretty much the only guy in this school I haven't made out with because I thought you were capital G gay. But now that I know you're not, having a perfect record would mean a lot to me. Let me know if you wanna tap this.

Artie: I'm kind of getting cold feet.
Brittany: Can you even feel your feet?

When I pulled my hamstring, I went to a misogynist.

Glee Quotes

[to Kurt] You know, these Mounds bars are delicious, but you have to eat them. If you just hold them in your hand hoping that you might get to eat them one day, they're going to melt and you'll look like somebody just pooped in your hand. Don't let waiting for things to maybe work out with Blaine turn you into the guy who looks like somebody just pooped in their hand.

Brittany

Blaine: Where's the bed?
Brittany: I removed it because when I imagined you two having sex I imagined a U-haul mounting a moped.