CeCe: Make sure you use protection.
Schmidt: CeCe, she's a foreigner. What do you think I am? An idiot?

Schmidt: You like me? You like my personality?
CeCe: I was surprised, too.

Schmidt: CeCe, are you pregnant?
CeCe: I don't know. We have to wait for the test results, but I'm late.
Schmidt: We made a caramel miracle!

Nadia: Jew in the couch!
CeCe: Nadia, American manners!
Nadia: Sorry. Jew person in couch.
Schmidt: She's not wrong.

Schmidt: What are you wearing!?
CeCe: I don't...I don't know. I found this in the lost found at the gym. I'm not really sure how sexy a "sexretary" is supposed to be.
Schmidt: If you're trying to seduce me, don't dress up like my Aunt Frida at seder.
CeCe: The truth is, I would do anything. Do it anywhere.
Schmidt: Even fantasy locations?

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

Schmidt: Ahh! A spider!
Nick: Jess, why did you do that? You know how he gets, he turns into a cartoon elephant of yesteryear who just saw a mouse.