The guy who got me this told me he could also get me a box of dolphin steaks or a "mostly white" baby.

I used to just think if I was proposed to I would notice it was happening.

Jess: Nick kissed me?

Cece: I'm still marrying an Indian guy.
Schmidt: Sure, but you went home with a Jew in a turban. I'm just saying.

Cece: You look like a character from The Love Guru.
Schmidt: Aw, thank you.

Schmidt: A pogo is what your friends talk about when you leave the room.
Cece: Oh like your barnacle toenails?

Cece:Do you have any agave?
Schmidt: We might have some pressed lentils syrups in the mixin's cabinet.

Cece: I know you have more costumes in your closet.
Schmidt: Those costumes are for Purim.

Schmidt: I get that. Your business is selling sex. You're a sex worker.
CeCe: You're an idiot.

CeCe: Are you "White Fanging" me?
Schmidt: What?
CeCe: White Fang? The only book you have on your Kindle. The book you wouldn't stop talking about, and I said, "Would you please stop talking about White Fang" and then you said, "Someday, I'm gonna do that to somebody".

CeCe: Make sure you use protection.
Schmidt: CeCe, she's a foreigner. What do you think I am? An idiot?

Schmidt: You like me? You like my personality?
CeCe: I was surprised, too.

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.


Get rid of it, Jess. Pine has no place in this loft. It's the wood of poor people and outhouses.