Archer
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXFavorite Cheryl Quotes
Queen: Foolish woman! Where is the bathroom!?
Cheryl: Where isn't the bathroom? Am I right?
Pam: Pardon, but I'm supposed to-- (Queen slaps Pam)
Queen: Woman! I will kill you where you stand!
Cheryl: Which by law, I would be required to tell you if there was a murder in the house (pause) Ohhh, but if you're the murderer....That's what I love about this job. You learn something new every day.
The child is sent to Bhutan, where for the next 20 years she's raised and trained as an assassin with Ra's al Ghul before returning to destroy those who once betrayed her.
Carol
Krieger: Alrighty, can someone give me a hand?
Cheryl: But Doctor, I thought the patient was getting the hand.
Krieger: Speaking of hands, Nurse, I'm -
Cheryl: Overplaying yours?
Krieger: Well I was gonna say "putty in yours" m'dear but I'll have to hand it to ya!
Cheryl: Hmm - keep your hands to yourself, Doctor.
Cyril: Can we have a show of hands? Who thinks this is getting out of hand?
Ray: Goddammit!! Can you please shut up - and sew on my robot hand!
Cheryl: Beep beep beep.
Pam: Oh, your giving me the truck noise, Karen Carpenter stunt double?
Cheryl: I'm sorry, I thought you were walking backwards.
Cheryl: I want a drink!
Archer: Join this great new club!
Archer: For starters, even if you pull this off, what are you going to do for money.
Cheryl: Well I...I shall work, of course!
Archer: (scoffs) As what?
Cheryl: Um...One of those! A food perambulator.
Cheryl: Oh my God, you have a crush on her!
Archer: What?! No I don't, I...
Cheryl: Yes you do! That was the cutest thing! And I think SHE has a crush on YOU.
Archer: No, she...wait, really?
Cheryl: Absolutely!
Archer: Why - why - why do you think that? Did she --
Cheryl: Just admit that you like her!
Archer: Well, yeah, of course I --
Cheryl: (yells to room) Hey! Yeah! Me and him, we just f*****d!!
Archer: (grunts in pain)
Cheryl: (flashback as a nun) Shhhh-shhhh. Calmez vous. Vous mettez plus en danger.
Being a negro must be so exciting.
Charlotte/Cheryl: You're not planning to blindfold me and hide me in a bomb shelter with limited oxygen and send my family cryptic notes about how to find me in a race against time for my life?
Mother/Malory: Who are you, collective pseudonym Carolyn Keene?
Charlotte/Cheryl: What?
Mother/Malory: Who would go through all that trouble?
Charlotte/Cheryl: Johann Schmidt, a.k.a The Red Skull in my Nazi kidnap/rape fantasy.
Mother/Malory: Ewwww.
My great-grandfather was nuts for skating. That and the Klan.
