Favorite Dan Humphrey Quotes
Gossip Girl: This just in - we hear there's a cold war brewing between Lonely Boy and a certain blue blood. We never thought we'd say this ourselves...
Serena: There you are. What's going on?
Dan: I'll tell you what's going on. I just became your escort to the ball.
Gossip Girl: ... But our money's on Brooklyn for the win!
Dan: Yale day. I thought we could walk to school together for support. I keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason. I'll end up in the right place. But what if I don't get in?
Serena: Forget you. What if I do and Blair doesn't?
Dan: Fire and brimstone. A lot of bitchy asides. Death by Dorota.
Jenny: Come on, Dan, Serena said hi to you at a ninth grade birthday party and you've never forgotten it.
Dan: How could I? She was the only person who spoke to me.
Dan: How are you always so right?
Serena: Its easy when you're always wrong.
Rufus: I dated a girl like Serena, once. Actually a lot like Serena. And girls like that might be challenging. That's true. And they're complicated, and enigmatic. And usually worth it. And the only way you know for sure is to jump it with both feet.
Dan: What happened with you?
Rufus: I swam for a while. Till I drowned.
Dan: Oh. Well, thanks dad. That's a great story.
Jenny: It was like I didn't even exist!
Dan: Mmm. Welcome to my world. It's not so bad when you get used to birds flying at your head and automatic doors never opening.
Chuck: She's not coming. Amanda.
Dan: What are you talking about?
Chuck: She met some new friends, they extended an invitation to her for lunch. Hockey sticks were involved. You know how persuasive our girls can be.
Jenny: Well, I've never seen you give up so easily.
Dan: Can you not start with me?
Jenny: Can you not give me something to start with? Why are you taking his advice? He's old and alone.
Dan: What?
Jenny: Tell Serena again. Without the pregnancy scare in a quiet, without a distraction kind of way. But, then again, what do I know about romance or anything else?
Dan: No, no. Actually, Jen, that's a very good idea.
Jenny: What would you do without me?
Dan: Promise me I will find out one day?
Jenny: Uh-huh.
Olivia: Vanessa, you're in love with Dan, and everyone here knows it.
Dan: Olivia, that's ... that's crazy. Come on.
Olivia: You know what, I don't have to put up with any of this. I quit.
Vanessa: Oh no you don't. I quit!
Blair: What's going on? Did you bozos have a threesome or something? [pause] Oh God! How stupid can you be? The third person's always supposed to be a stranger!
Jenny, please tell me what you're doing here; starting with "dad knows" and ending with "these drinks are not for me."
Blair: (Answering Serena's cellphone)Who dare interrupt the Van Der Woodsen as she teaches?!
Dan: Dan...Humphrey (As Blair and Serena argue about the phone in the background)
Blair: Sorry, the number you dialed is no longer is service.
Serena: Stop it, who is it?
Blair: I'm doing you a favor.
Dan: Look I can hear you. Can I just please talk to Serena?
Blair: Apparently you can, cabbage patch
Serena, don't take this the wrong way, but you sound like a jackass we know.
