Favorite Dan Humphrey Quotes
Blair: Let's make it clear from the start. We don't know each other here.
Dan: [pauses] Works for me.
Vanessa: Me too.
Dan: Did you come all the way to Brooklyn just to yell at me? 'Cause that's really not necessary.
Blair: Yes it is.
Dan: I just wanted to make sure you knew that kiss meant nothing to me.
Blair: Oh. Right.
Dan: Social experiment gone wrong.
Blair: A princess kissing a labrador.
Dan: I appreciate you not calling me a toad.
Rufus: Well for what it's worth, when Lily and I started hanging out again, neither of us wanted anyone else to know. But friendship can be an excuse—a cover when there's something more you don't want to admit, or you're too scared to explore.
Dan: No... no. No. I mean, there's no way. I mean even the thought of that is—
Rufus: Scary.
Dan: No, I mean we're not even friends. I swear... we're not.
Dan: I can't believe Nate Archibald is a gigolo.
Vanessa: You can't tell anyone!
Dan: Who? Who would I tell? Except everyone I've ever met. [pauses] I won't.
Dan: For someone who's just a friend you're really good at choreographing reasons for us to kiss.
Blair: That's because I'm willing to suffer for love.
Dan: Whatever you say. Just don't get too handsy.
Blair: Serena send you here to talk to me?
Dan: No, believe it or not, I actually came here myself.
Blair: (sighs) Normally, wouldn't be this close to you without a tetanus shot.
Blair: Is the pedal to the metal? Because I swear if I shove my feet through the floor I could run faster. At least there's no radio so I'm spared your horrid taste in music. I think we were supposed to turn there.
Dan: You know I'd tell you to stop being such a back seat driver but how can you be one when you don't even know how to drive.
Blair: I offered to get us a car service. Professional driver, comfortable seats, champagne!
Dan: We're on a mission here.
Dan: I'm good with just one.
Chuck: You're either in for the full ride, or you're out.
Dan: [pauses] Okay, pass me the shots.
Chuck: That's just a chaser.
Dan: What is that?
Chuck: Does it matter? Down the rabbit hole, then we go out the door.
Nate: Juliet and I have this nice little evening planned after the mixer. Got some nice champagne, new Matteo sheets ... and I'm hoping some recently purchased lingerie.
Dan: That's for her, right?
Serena: (seeing Dan walking up to her with a plate) You're still here?
Dan: Yeah, well, I thought I couldn't leave without bringing you something from craft service. Um, and, uh, and telling you that I'm sorry I judged you.
Serena: Well, I'm sorry I gave you reason to.
(Dan smiles a little)
Serena: Hey, how about you ask me out again?
Dan: How about you actually show up?
Serena: (smiles) Okay. No drama. No disruptions. I promise.
Dan: You promise? Oh, no! That means it's never gonna happen now.
Serena: Aah! Okay, quick. I take it back. I unpromise.
Dan: Friday. 8:00.
Blair: (walking up to them) I think we can agree to those terms...but you can't wear those shoes. Mmm, or that hair.
Serena: Blair.
Dan: (laughs) Oh.
Serena: Okay, see you then.
Blair: Eww. (turns away as Serena kisses Dan on the cheek and hugs him)
Dan: All right. (smiles and walks away)
Hey, last time I checked, I still owed you a black eye. So, unless this is you coming to claim it, stay away from her.
