Popular Dan Humphrey Quotes
Blair: Fashion is the most powerful art there is. It's movement, design and architecture all in one. It shows the world who we are and who we'd like to be. Just like your scarf suggests that you'd like to sell used cars.
Dan: Vanessa gave me this scarf.
Gossip Girl: Rubies are red, hydrangeas are blue. Chuck' given his heart awayâ€”
Dan: Wow, he's good.
Gossip Girl: But guess what, Blair? Not to you.
Blair: Shut up Humphrey.
Blair: Look, I think I figured it out. Okay, Serena had an affair with her teacher because, let's face it, it's Serena and what else is there to do in Connecticut. Then she came to her senses and discarded him like last season's Chanel booties. Then he became a crazy stalker and Serena pressed charges. That should be a warning to you, Humphrey.
Dan: Yeah, because the parallels are striking.
Chuck: Before you say anything I'm only calling because I saw Gossip Girl. I wondered if I might be able to offer some assistance.
Dan: Well unless it's a murder-suicide I think I'll pass.
Chuck: So dramatic. You should be a writer.
Do you think the Humphreys have a crest that Jenny could sew onto one of my cardigans?
Chuck: I heard Jenny was back. I wanted to speak with her.
Dan: And say what? "I'm sorry for taking advantage of you and letting my psycho ex-girlfriend run you out of town"?
Chuck: Something like that. Except without the sarcasm.
[about Rufus and Lily] I think it is fairly safe to assume that they have had sex.
Charlie: When I was little Sour Patch Kids were pretty much my best friends. Them and books.
Dan: Books? Me too. What was your favorite.
Charlie: I could try to be cool and make something up, but if I were honest... Flowers in the Attic. My copy literally fell apart.
Dan: Really? What was it that you loved most, exactly? Was it the gripping tale of teen incest or just the general fine quality of the prose?
Jenny: Well, keep dreaming. Maybe one day she'll actually know your name.
Dan: Yeah, maybe. And then I'll have something to be thankful for.
Blair: My point is, paranoia can save your life.
Dan: Oh, so she was supposed to know her husband was going to sell their firstborn to a coven?
Blair: The woman couldn't be more naive. I mean who eats unsolicited desserts.
Dan: Point taken. The mousse was creepy. Do you know how many gloves I've lost on the subway?
Blair: Well. You do often seem cursed.
Dan: I do, don't I?
Serena: So, how was your break? What did you do?
Dan: Why, what'd you hear?
Olivia: Flu? As in Patrick Roberts flu?
Dan: He made you levitate.