Chuck: This isn't over.
Dan: Any time. That one black eye looks a little lonely.

Serena: (seeing Dan walking up to her with a plate) You're still here?
Dan: Yeah, well, I thought I couldn't leave without bringing you something from craft service. Um, and, uh, and telling you that I'm sorry I judged you.
Serena: Well, I'm sorry I gave you reason to.
(Dan smiles a little)
Serena: Hey, how about you ask me out again?
Dan: How about you actually show up?
Serena: (smiles) Okay. No drama. No disruptions. I promise.
Dan: You promise? Oh, no! That means it's never gonna happen now.
Serena: Aah! Okay, quick. I take it back. I unpromise.
Dan: Friday. 8:00.
Blair: (walking up to them) I think we can agree to those terms...but you can't wear those shoes. Mmm, or that hair.
Serena: Blair.
Dan: (laughs) Oh.
Serena: Okay, see you then.
Blair: Eww. (turns away as Serena kisses Dan on the cheek and hugs him)
Dan: All right. (smiles and walks away)

Blair: Serena send you here to talk to me?
Dan: No, believe it or not, I actually came here myself.
Blair: (sighs) Normally, wouldn't be this close to you without a tetanus shot.

Blair: (Answering Serena's cellphone)Who dare interrupt the Van Der Woodsen as she teaches?!
Dan: Dan...Humphrey (As Blair and Serena argue about the phone in the background)
Blair: Sorry, the number you dialed is no longer is service.
Serena: Stop it, who is it?
Blair: I'm doing you a favor.
Dan: Look I can hear you. Can I just please talk to Serena?
Blair: Apparently you can, cabbage patch

Serena: How was the movie? Did I miss something amazing?
Dan: Even without the movie.
Serena: (laughs) Don't be cocky!

Dan: Isn't that the girl who told the entire school and, oh, several colleges, that you had a drug problem?
Serena: Yeah. But, you know, Blair can be a little... Blair. (they chuckle) We are actually trying to work things out. Today is our first day hanging out together. Alone.
Dan: Uh uh.
Serena: Uh uh. (laughs) So I should probably get back.
Dan: Yeah, sure.
Serena: But call me sometimes. So we can get together and do that thing you didn't ask me to do

Rufus: I dated a girl like Serena, once. Actually a lot like Serena. And girls like that might be challenging. That's true. And they're complicated, and enigmatic. And usually worth it. And the only way you know for sure is to jump it with both feet.
Dan: What happened with you?
Rufus: I swam for a while. Till I drowned.
Dan: Oh. Well, thanks dad. That's a great story.

I don't think mom is a big fan of surprises. Remember her 30th birthday, with the clown and his llama?

Alright, alright. (loosening his tie) Well, then. If it's a real Dan Humphrey date that you want, then it's a real Dan Humphrey date that you're gonna get. Let's go.

I'm sorry. I don't know why I just said anything like that. I have, I have this thing, like a nervous tick. My mind never stops speaking, in like, ever. In fact when I was a little boy, my mom used to say there was never a word I met that I didn't like. You know what else I like? Your daughter. I, I really like your daughter.

Vanessa: The Pacifier played for like a year.
Dan: And they said Vin Diesel couldn't do comedy.

I don't read Gossip Girl. That's for chicks.

Gossip Girl Quotes

Even Blair Waldorf can not bend DNA to her will.

Dan

Hazel: Do you know what you're doing, Little J?
Jenny: I'm not Little J anymore.