Rory: Anything else you want to tell me?
Dean: (Pauses, confused) Corn's two for a dollar?
Rory: Jess has a black eye. Any idea where he got it?
Dean: That would be an extremely long list.

Lorelai: Could you get rid of it?
Dean: Yeah, yeah.
Lorelai: Don't let his family see you. Spiders are vindictive. And this was a really big spider. I think it had a gun.

Dean: What's the matter, Jess? Why you walking away?
Jess: It's getting a little West Side Story here, Dean, and I gotta warn you, my dancing skills are not up to snuff.

Rory: Dean, please. This is a girl thing.
Dean: Okay. Tell me when I'm supposed to pay attention again.

Kirk, just to let you know, some of the guys, not me you know, but some of the guys say that they're gonna to rip your head off if you don't shut up. Okay?

Dean: (Referring to Babette and Miss Patty singing) So, how many cocktails caused that?
Rory: Oh, they haven't had any cocktails yet.
Dean: Really?
Rory: Oh yeah, when they start having cocktails we're gonna have to hide you.

Lorelai: But I'm here now and hey, I'm like cheese.
Dean: What?
Rory: She gets better with time.

Lorelai: Do you want a soda?
Dean: No, thanks. I'm gonna go. Uh, don't tell Rory I was here, okay?
Lorelai: Hey, I'm just sitting here at the table talking to myself. . .again.

She likes Jess, doesn't she?

(Dean and Lorelai watching through the window of Luke's Diner to Rory and Jess who are flirting)
Dean: Rory wouldn't lie, right?
Lorelai: No. Rory wouldn't lie.

(Jess walks up behind them)
Jess: I gotta tell you, of all the nutty barn raising shindigs this town can cook up, this one wasn't half bad.
Dean: Glad you enjoyed it.
Jess: Yes I did. So shall we?
Dean: Shall we what?
Jess: Shall we go?
Dean: Go where?
Jess: Go eat.
Dean: Excuse me?
Jess: The person who buys the basket wins the company of the person who makes the basket for lunch. Basket, basket maker, guy who didn't bring enough money.
Dean: You think this is funny.
Jess: Well, it's no Lenny Bruce routine but it has its moments.

(Dean walks away after fighting with Rory)
Rory: Please, don't walk away like that!
Dean: Sorry, I'd do a silly walk, but I'm not felling very John Cleese right now!

Gilmore Girls Quotes

Luke: Me? Raising a kid? I don't even like kids. They're always sticky like they've got jam on their hands. Even if there's no jam in the house, somehow, they've always got jam on their hands! I'm not the right guy to deal with that. I have no patience for jam hands!
Lorelai: First of all, Jess is 17 so I think he's probably pass the jam hands stage by now. Second of all, you can do this. If you want to you are totally capable.

Lorelai: So, dinner, thoughts?
Rory: Let's have some.