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Dean Pelton Quotes

Dean Pelton: I scolded Leonard today, so according to Greendale bylaws, I now have to grant him three wishes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dean Pelton: Which is to say that having Jeffrey inside of me-
Jeff: No one was inside of anyone!
Dean Pelton: -was wrong. To have Jeffrey inside of me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Shirley: Is this a bad time?
Dean Pelton (speaking as Jeff): I'm at Greendale, stuck in the body of a man who could be Gollum, so yeah, I'd say it's half past suck.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dean: This awkward silence has been going on for days! Granted, Jeffrey looks amazing when he broods, but this has got to stop!
 • Rating: Unrated

Dean: The perfect mix of low intellect, limited ambition, and limitless parental support.
Jeff: So, a rich dum-dum who will never graduate and keep dropping money into the school indefinitely. Got it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dean: Pierce Hawthorne has taken 80% of Greendale's classes twice. He is the only Greendale student who has ever paid for a premium locker or the extended pencil warranty.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dean Pelton: Thank you, Pierce Hawthorne, for your special blend of playful racial humor and genuine thoughts on Geraldine Ferraro.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dean Pelton: I first met Chang when I hired him as a Spanish teacher at Greendale. Then he became a disgraced student, a psychopathic music major, a homeless vent dweller, a security guard, keytarist, power-hungry war lord, and, now, Kevin. It's sad to see him like this. Well, it's mixed. He was pretty terrible before.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Jeff: I thought I told you to stop reading my emails.
Dean Pelton: Well, I thought I told you to stop keeping secrets!
 • Rating: Unrated

Dean: I've got Friends with Benefits... no subtext.
 • Rating: Unrated

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