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Its-always-sunny-in-philadelphia

Goddamn I hate gin. Dee, you bitch!

Without the sunglasses, Weekend at Bernie's would have been a very dark, strange tale.

Dennis: You're born into class. It's about pedigree. It's about upbringing. It has nothing to do with your present circumstance.
Dee: See, Dennis and I were born upper class. Therefore, we currently are and will forever remain upper class. Frank, stop picking your teeth for one second and back us up here.

Dennis: We also have the bird with teeth.
Charlie: Wow, okay. And I'm assuming the teeth are fake, yes?
Dennis: Yes. Well they're not really human teeth if that's what you're asking
Charlie: No, I mean did you discover a bird with teeth in this fashion?
Dennis: That does not exist in nature.
Charlie: Okay, I'm not sure, but either way, good glue work.

I hate listening to people's dreams. It's like flipping through a stack of photographs. If I'm not in any of them and nobody's having sex, I just don't care.

Rude man who shushes please call.

Mac: You are such a dildo, dude.
Dennis: Thanks, dude, thanks. That's a good way to start the day.

Mac, you have an exceptional number of bugs in your teeth. You're gonna want to rinse those out. It's disgusting.

There are far too many leather shops in Arizona as it is.

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