I will rate every single women in this restaurant!

You can't even spell.

Of course there were other guys - I don’t like the way you asked that question. Switch with her!

I was a five star man before the internet and I’m a five star man now. I just gotta shed the dead weight. God damn it!

Uh, well, don't talk about the system.

Dennis: I could find you oddly sexy.
Date: Excuse me?
Dennis: That was supposed to be, uh, a compliment.

Kim, hon, I'm detecting a little vibe from you - so why don't you come sit here.

I feel like he's the one who rescued me.

Girl: You know, you're weird.
Dennis: You have no idea.

Dennis: How many sleeping pills did you give that kid?
Frank: I don't know? 7? 12?

During the turbulence, she giggled - leads me to believe she's a thrill seeker.

Dennis: How many beers can we order at once?
Flight Attendant: I'm not sure, no one's ever asked that.

It's Always Sunny Quotes

I was a five star man before the internet and I’m a five star man now. I just gotta shed the dead weight. God damn it!

Dennis

Naked pics online? That's disgusting. On a website? There's so many of them though. Where? Which one?

Mac