They were gonna light themselves on fire! I'm the winner!

And he made it clear to me that all of you are going to need to commit suicide.

Dennis: You gonna goddamn blow this for me? You gonna blow the thin mint thing?
Frank and Dee: Noooo!

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Dennis: Frank I spoke for five minutes, there's no way I'm repeating all that.
Dee: Dennis started a cult.

Go play in your little hole, you fools.

Dee: Who had the pen here?
Dennis: It makes sense, don't be a bitch.

Frank: I don't care anything about this hole - I'm passionless.
Dennis: What are you saying Frank?
Frank: I officially retire from Paddy's Pub.
The Gang: YAY!!!

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Hey Frank, did you hear what I just said? I just turned a frustrating conversation into a joke about you!

This doesn't represent me. This doesn't represent me. This doesn't represent me.

Oh god, don't be a dumb hungry bitch the entire time --

That buzzer sounds awfully loud, huh? Pierces you right down to your soul! I don't like it.

A man should be able to end his life if he wants -- we're American!

It's Always Sunny Quotes

Frank: I opened up to a therapist just once. I was a kid. I got into a fight. The doctor asked me question after question, got me so scrambled up. Next thing I know, I was shanghai'd upstate to a nitwit school. You know what a nitwit school is?
Therapist: I assume you mean a school for the mentally disabled.
Frank (spits pistachio shell): Yeah, not just for nuts in the head, but bodies, too. Back then science was real crude, they stuck us all together. My roommate was a frog-kid. You ever see a frog-kid?

No I don't eat dragon, cause, uh, it's not a meal for peasants, it's a meal for kings, and I'm sort of a common man. But they don't eat us, it's a common misconception. They actually eat gold and treasure -- that's why they're always sitting on a pile of it.

Charlie