They were gonna light themselves on fire! I'm the winner!

And he made it clear to me that all of you are going to need to commit suicide.

Dennis: You gonna goddamn blow this for me? You gonna blow the thin mint thing?
Frank and Dee: Noooo!

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Dennis: Frank I spoke for five minutes, there's no way I'm repeating all that.
Dee: Dennis started a cult.

Go play in your little hole, you fools.

Dee: Who had the pen here?
Dennis: It makes sense, don't be a bitch.

Frank: I don't care anything about this hole - I'm passionless.
Dennis: What are you saying Frank?
Frank: I officially retire from Paddy's Pub.
The Gang: YAY!!!

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Hey Frank, did you hear what I just said? I just turned a frustrating conversation into a joke about you!

This doesn't represent me. This doesn't represent me. This doesn't represent me.

Oh god, don't be a dumb hungry bitch the entire time --

That buzzer sounds awfully loud, huh? Pierces you right down to your soul! I don't like it.

A man should be able to end his life if he wants -- we're American!

It's Always Sunny Quotes

With real power comes real responsibility and I don't want any of that shit. I just want the money and the illusion of power. And puss.

Dennis

Dennis: I am having feelings again. Like some kind of fourteen year old kid. You remember, feelings right?
Mac: Yeah. I have feelings every single day of my life.
Dennis: Do you?
Mac: Are you saying you don't have feelings?
Dennis: What I'm saying is a built up a shell.. a shell around myself. A cold, calculated shell that couldn't be broken by anything but marriage.